The Raging Debate on Gun Control in the U.S.

I've been gone quite some time, and during that time there were so many topics I wanted to write about, but life happens! So I'm just going to jump in with two feet once more and give you my thoughts on the raging debate of Gun Control in the U.S.

The U.S. seems to erupt in a raging debate over gun control and gun violence in the U.S every time there is any kind of shooting that can further agendas.  The republican party and the democratic party seem to lock themselves on opposite sides of this debate every time there is a mass shooting or any shooting for that matter.  I debated at length researching all the statistical data, and compiling facts for this blog, but it seems no one is interested in those facts, and statistics can be skewed in either direction, so I won't waste my time.

In light of the most recent event out in California where two terrorist engaged in a mass shooting Obama calls our Gun Laws insane.  The fact that he thinks he knows better then the founding fathers who gave us the right to have arms is disconcerting to me.  Yet, this post isn't about him.  Many flock to support him saying we need stricter gun laws, calling for a ban on guns, or proposing other more extreme solutions.  The Republicans on the other hand get slammed for offering prayers and are slammed for for not acting on these stricter gun law proposals with people trying to make them accountable for the actions of two terrorist (way to hold the people who perpetrated the crime accountable).  Gun advocates argue that some of the states with the strictest gun laws have the highest crime rate with them, and further argue that stricter gun laws are not the answer.

Here is what it comes down to.  We have a constitutional right to have arms, we have had that right since this county was named.  I think some of the opposition from both sides comes from massive misunderstanding and a stubborn refusal to try and see either side.  I think some of the opposition from both sides comes from ignorance and I think a great deal of of opposition comes from fear.

Fear being one of our greatest enemies no matter what side of the fence you are on.  Anti-gun supporters are often afraid of guns, and it seems afraid of almost everything else, they view stricter gun control as a way for the to control the big bad scary world out there.  I think the down side of this mentality is that when you seek ultimate control you loss control completely.  These decision have consequences that reach far beyond the short sight of fear and ignorance. You call for stricter gun control for the law abiding citizens and expect the criminals will turn in their illegal guns?  OR did you figure oh, well, at least if the law abiding citizens don't have guns only the police and criminals will have guns, what could possibly go wrong there?  It just doesn't follow logic.  Perhaps you have this misguided stereotypical image in your head of what a gun owner looks like. Not sure, take a look at the  below.

If this first row is what you think a law abiding gun owner looks like, you are misinformed, misguided and judging people based on stereotypes.


If this second row is what you think a law abiding gun owner looks like, congratulations, this is more likely the case.  If you do not, you are part of a bigger problem.


Now that we have addressed one side of the fence lets look at the other side of the fence.  Avid gun supporters often come across as zealots of a different kind.  I can't say that I blame the average law abiding gun supporter for being upset at the stereotypes and misunderstanding in society. However, their approach often hurts them.  They believe they are good and responsible people and so they apply their logic across the board.  They often have knee jerk reactions to the media and press as the war on guns rages with every single report of mass shootings, while many of the preventative incidents are swept under the rug to further political movement.  I have come across stories only because I seek them out, were a law abiding gun owner has acted in favor of the masses. These stores are found only if I search for them, and even if gun advocates share these stories they don't get the air time the more negative consequences do.  Most of these avid gun owners believe that a well armed society is a safer society, this can be difficult to digest for people who are afraid of guns.  Most avid gun owners engage in regular training, and take their ownership very seriously, but the public doesn't seem to get that message. Instead criminal activity is tied to gun ownership in the media providing a skewed perception of what a true law abiding gun owner is and giving the illusion that stricter gun laws will somehow cut down on the level of crime that is being committed. I can assure you this is only an illusion.

All in all both sides lock themselves in their positions, anti gun advocates spewing out statistics supporting their cause that are skewed in their favor. Avid pro gun owners countering with statistics that support their cause.  Both sides seeking to protect the country in their own ways.  The anti gun owner seeks to protect by taking rights away, and pro gun owners seek to educate and encourage more people to their side.

My Bottom Line.  Stricter gun control laws in general is not the answer.  California has some of the more strict gun laws and tragedy still struck, as an aside, the guns used in the California mass shootings were illegal in that state.  If people can't kill you with guns they will find another way if they are determined.   Criminals don't care about laws and neither do terrorist. Disarming law abiding citizens only serves to hurt the country as a whole by providing even more potential targets for those that wish to do them harm. An informed, trained and responsible body of gun owner can and does serve as a powerful defense and deterrent against criminal activity and terrorist attacks. Need an example?  If you were a criminal or terrorist would you target the city where almost everyone owned a gun, or the one where almost no one owns a gun?

Concessions (and I usually don't have these but I am trying to be flexible) - I am willing to hear SPECIFICALLY what stricter gun control laws are being considered, for example a strict policy on foreign citizens (given our particular fight on terrorism) is something I would consider. Changes to gun policy regarding mental health are something I would consider.

Rantings from bedrest

I'm going to say a few things.  Why? Because I have freedom of speech, because I am bored on account of being so damn sick I can't do much and because I just don't care if I offend someone based on an opinion that I hold because they are too narrow minded to accept that other people can have contrary opinions, and dare I say STILL GET ALONG.

Now, in case I die from this illness, let me solve all of the worlds problems.  (if you don't know that was a joke, you really don't know me or possibly need to get out more.)

Extremists are part of the problem when they are so fixated on the extreme view they have that they loose sight of reality and lack the ability empathize or show compassion for anyone who does not follow their line of thinking.  We all have things we may be a little extreme about but when you start shoving it on everyone else you are part of the problem.  Unless you are me being extreme about not being extreme than it is totally acceptable. (again sarcasm)

People that want to kill people will do it any way they can, gun, knife or crowbar it makes no difference, they kill people because in their mind that works for them, society says no, you can't do that we have all agreed as a society that it is wrong to kill people outside of our set parameters.  We have agreed that you can kill someone when in service to protect such as our military and police and citizens have the right to defend themselves if they believe their life is in danger, although you better hope they are not of a different race because nowadays we also will assume you are a racist.  (I wish I was kidding but black or white each side seems to love to throw those words around and try to keep people separated) We also want to be mindful when stopping intruders in our home because they can sue us if they get hurt in our home trying to rob or kill us.  Here is the deal people, a well armed society does not automatically mean it is more or less dangerous, that is up to the people who are armed.  In short, what are your intentions.  If you are uncomfortable with guns perhaps you need a gun safety course. Flip side there are some bad people out there that get guns legally and illegally, trying to cut down on that should not infringe on the good person who has them.  Try to keep up here I know it's hard. If you are that worried about increase the education given to people, it's really all about the education.

Terrorist are extremist, they see their way as the only way, and honestly I don't think I have heard of a terrorist that wasn't somehow connected to religion.  More people have been murdered in the name of religion than anything else combined. So how about you have your beliefs and I have my beliefs and we respect each other enough to have a healthy discussion but don't try to convert each other. You understand that some of the most revered ancient structures were around hundreds of years before many of the main religions that do all of the converting and fighting, you get that there were oral traditions (many of them) that were passed down generation to generation to be wiped out by people who thought theirs would being more order.  You realize entire populations were decimated in the name of some of the "Christian" religions, valuable prehistory lost, and ancestry blurred (on account of the raping) but by all means lets continue to throw fits about cups, and who has more holidays and why does this one do that.


Back to the Terrorist attacks, here is the deal, people all upset that I changed my profile picture to support the French, and why didn't we do this for the other countries.  Well perhaps I didn't know about the other countries because I was absorbed in my own life that I simply missed the 5 seconds the news might have dedicated to it.  Perhaps it is because France is one of the longest running allies to the united states, Maybe it is because they showed us support when we were attacked.  But really, it's because I saw the footage as it was available and it broke my heart, just as the footage for every other country breaks my heart, because I empathize.  I feel more deeply that many of you would imagine, unless you have seen me at the movies.

More on terrorism, it sucks, and no one wants to deal with it.  It's like a giant elephant in the room and everyone has their extremes.  From no don't hurt any innocent people to Kill them all.  You are both wrong.  The fact is innocent people are dying, and the longer we allow terrorist to operate the more innocent lives will be lost.  They don't operate like you and me, nothing is off limits, in fact the things that you would put off limits are their targets, such as schools, clubs social settings.  So innocent people are dying and more will die if we don't act appropriately, but killing everyone that is extreme as well. No specific targeted attacks on known areas or bases of terrorist activities are what I would call for and unfortunately even then some innocent lives will be lost, but I believe them to be less than if we allow more attacks. The world could organize these attacks united against these hateful people and attack all known and verified terrorist establishments in concert.  A show of force is necessary when they attack as they have.   Yes, yes I know you can not fight hate with hate, the only thing that will smite the darkness is light, and the only thing that will eradicate hate is love, but these are not rational people, and while you are trying to show them love they are killing innocent children and families, so in this case alone I must disagree. However, I must say I don't have spys everywhere so much of my information comes from the news.

By the way I now get my news from 15 different sources so I can try to use all the different stories to draw my own conclusions because the media isn't about the truth anymore.  Its sad to see how far journalism has fallen but it has fallen indeed.  Satirical magazine seem to enlighten me more than the average news station.  Perhaps if I watch the left news channels and the right news channels I can find the truth in the middle.

Offended yet?  I'd be surprised if you were not considering the majority of this country seems to want to sue everyone for everything, everyone wants a free ride, everything is offensive and no one has the work ethic needed to further develop our country. That was a blanket statement and rather unfair.  I do know some fabulous people with great work ethic, but I see far more people not putting in the work.  I know people who are not easily offended and I love them because we can speak candidly and if someone gets to that point we respectfully agree to disagree and it is over.  I wish that were the majority but it is not, I know far more people that I feel I am walking on eggshells around because you never know what will offend their sensibilities and worse yet 9 times out of 10 they won't even tell you! They sulk like a child and treat you poorly leaving you to figure it out for yourself.  At least when I sulk like a child you know why!

Alright, it might be time for me to call it quits as I am certain I am now on several watch lists and have sufficiently irritated the 10 people that still pop in to see if I have anything new (sorry about the dry spell life was just too crazy for a bit). Here is the bottom line.  We need to educate people not spread propaganda. If you don't like something okay, just don't tell someone else they can't like it or have it.  Gun control aimed at keeping guns away from criminals and such is fine, gun control aimed at keeping guns away from law abiding citizens is not.  Just because someone has a gun it does not mean they are a bad person, unless they have a ski mask and are not skiing then they really might be, or they could be desperate, either is pretty dangerous. Religion is fine and good if you are not killing people over it or insisting on badgering other to your way.  Offensive material is really REALLY subjective.  I don't find myself getting all up in arms over much and even if I do become impassioned I respect that others can have their opinion (however wrong that may be) Opinions are not facts! They are not by their nature right or wrong, in fact they are more a feeling. I know, I know it's going to take you a moment to process that.  Opinions are not facts. Terrorism sucks, we hate it, we would like to stop it, you do not stop it by killing everyone indiscriminate in fact I am pretty sure that I read somewhere that hundreds of thousands of Muslims have been killed by ISIS, sort of reminds me of the Nazis...you had to have drawn that parallel by now. Strategic strikes to their forces in concert around the world would be a very nice start...in my OPINION. I don't think we can sit back and love them in this case.  I wish we could but they are a little crazy in the coconut. We (Americans) don't only care about France and their attack (well I am sure some Americans do) I know quite a few that were just unaware of the others or had other reasons for supporting France, it doesn't mean we don't care about the other. Accepting Refugees, I'm torn I am because my nature is to want to help everyone, but in this case unless we can vet everyone of these people before they come here I don't see this as a good idea at this time.  It sucks, and I don't like to say something like that but we are a hot mess over here.  We are hating on each other, we have homeless, racial tensions are ridiculous, I think you should have your own house in order before you invite someone else to come live with you. (Oh! That makes my personal life make more sense HA)

At the end of the day just try to be nice, respectful, develop a good work ethic, hold yourself and others accountable, and when in doubt educate.

Changing Your Perception Positively

I was having a chat today with a fellow human about perception, assumptions and educated guesses as it pertains to our positive thinking.  After talking it through he suggested I add part of our discussion to the book I am writing, I thought I ought to share it with you, rather than make you wait for the book.  

Many a problems arise when we make assumptions, educated guesses, or draw conclusions.  Often it is our desire to make sense of things, to know what the other person is thinking, to know what will happen, that brings us the most stress.  Even more often our tendency to assume and guess at the negative tends to outweigh that of the positive.  

You may know by now, I am a huge fan of the Four Agreements, a book by Miguel Ruiz, and I am also a fan of the law of attraction.  These principles can and will help you change into a more positive frame of mind, and one of those principle, one of those agreements if you will, is "Don't Make Assumptions."

Why don't you want to make assumptions, well aside from the part where they are almost always wrong, they are often always negative.  So let's just say for the sake of argument that you can't quit making assumptions cold turkey, you have been doing it all your life, it's a part of you, heck maybe you even enjoy it.  But if you don't enjoy it perhaps I can give you some inspiration to change your perception to a more positive one.  Well, then lets work on making those assumptions a bit less negative shall we.

Here is one for the ladies, I have know a great many women that have gone through a cycle, this cycle starts with "prince charming" that society shows us in fairy tales, inevitably at some point they cycle out of that into an ultra independence, during this stage, watch out! They don't want anyone doing anything for them, they can open their own door, carry their own groceries, and any attempt to help is met with a grumbling glare that says "How dare you suggest I need your help" or "How dare you demean me." Now hopefully the carnage was minimal from that stage and we move into the respect stage.  This is where I hope most men and women reside, the place where they respect themselves and others. This is the best place to be, particularly if we want to change our way of thinking and reject the negative assumptions we have made.

I know many women who think a guy opening a car door is wonderful, and I know many women who think that it is terrible and demeaning, or diminishing that woman's worth.  Well, either woman would be wrong, because it is your perception, and that resonates within you. What I can tell you is that choosing to believe a negative over a positive will result in you feeling angry, stressed, or any other number of negative emotions, that frankly you don't need, and should not encourage.  So what can you do, you can change your perception.  First, consider this, the many holding the door, might very well hold it for a man as well as a woman.  Isn't that a more pleasant thought?  Second, the man may be holding the door open for you because he respects you, not because he thinks you are worth less.  Third, if you assume you will not get the truth, you will create a false truth in your mind that does nothing but feed the negative, if it eats at you, just ask. "Excuse me sir, why did you hold the door open for me?"  He might say because he wanted to be nice, or because he always holds the door, or because you look like his former wife who passed and he always got the door for her, or he could say he did it for any number of reasons, some of which you might not like, or understand, but try...try to understand. Now, I have magic man by Heart in my head. 

So, now what if the answer or reason is unacceptable to you, well try to understand it.  Don't let it turn you rotten or negative. People are living their lives, and their lives are unique to them, no one goes through exactly the same situations in their lives, we each have our very own story, and while others may be similar no one is the same.  We are like snowflakes, except we don't melt on your tongue....or do we....I'm kidding!  So take a moment and think about the negative assumptions you make. 

Someone does not answer you right away, you text or called and they did not reply, where does your mind go?  I've had people (who clearly don't know my phone dies at least once a day) get very upset or text me repeatedly asking if I were mad at them, if they offended me, or if I was otherwise upset. First, I often point out it takes a lot to offend me, second I tell them my phone died or that I was working and didn't get it until later.  But look at what happened these people got themselves all stressed (to whatever degree) about a story they made up in their head that really had no foundation in reality.  They made assumptions about me, I'm not immune to it either, I have had my moments of crazy assumptions. To counter them, take a moment when you feel the crazies coming on, and make an effort not to assume anything, make an effort to be okay with not knowing for just a little while, and make an effort to be understanding.

Guys, I don't want you to feel left out.  Everything above applies to you, but I would like to add a little note to you here.  I have asked my ladies not to make an assumption as to your motives, now I ask you not to make assumptions based on a woman's reaction.  You might go to open a car door and she might have an issue, don't just assume she is a feminazi, try to be understanding.  You don't know her story.  If a girl keeps you on the line longer than you like without giving as much as you like, don't assume she is a prude, a tease, or a user try to be understanding, she may have had some abuse and it takes her longer to feel safe, she may have had a traditional family, overly religious family, or maybe what seems normal to you may not be normal to her.  Likewise if she decides a sleep over is in order the first night, don't shame her, degrade, her or call her names, she chose to share herself with you, be grateful you had someone to share some moments with.  

Be grateful, be understanding, make less assumptions.  When you catch yourself making negative assumptions counterattack with positive assumptions, if you have to counter them with fairy tale positive assumptions, make up a good outrageous story that is so outlandish it immediately makes the negative disappear and probably makes you smile.  You are one step closer to changing your positively changing your perception!