The Most Common Mistake – Real vs. Fantasy

The Most Common Mistake – Real vs. Fantasy.

I have done a lot with my life, more that many not as much as some, yet I still find there is more to do. There is always something I can write about, some question that keeps coming up, some answer that seems elusive until someone else comes along with it. Today, while sitting down reading about writing habits, I came across a movie about a writer who made on of the most common mistakes that I see people make. I fell prey to this mistake as well, and I hope if you read this that I can inspire you not to make that mistake.

What is the most common mistake?

• It is foregoing your dreams and passions for what the perceives as something more realistic.

• It is ignoring that passion and innate talent and forcing yourself into an average job you are unhappy with.
• It is believing that your passions, no matter how rare, are somehow less than what the average people are doing.
• It is choosing to take a path that makes you unhappy simply because you do not believe you can do what you love.
• It is choosing the humdrum over the outrageous.

I could go on, instead let me give you advice I wish I had, advice that I wish I would have been smart enough to take if it were offered during the times in my life when I was pursuing my dreams.

The Advice:

• Be outrageous! Add in a sprinkle of realism and you will do just fine!
• Do what you love, find your passion and pursue it! Try and find a job in or related to what you love so you can support yourself while you pursue your passion.
• Do it for the love of doing it! Don't do it for the money, the fame or the fortune. Do it because you love it. I believe the saying goes something like a man who loves what he does, does not work a day in his life.
• Don't listen to the naysayers, surround yourself with supportive people who want to see you succeed. Constructive criticism can be very valuable, negative criticism is worthless.

The Story:

You might be sitting there reading this wondering who is this to give advice. Well let me tell you a little story about myself. I was always a writer. It all started when I was very young, I loved to read, I would sneak under the covers with a flashlight to finish reading a book every night I could. Most writers have a similar story. I had a vivid imagination, I loved to read and imagine the stories coming to life. I could smell, hear, taste and see everything in the stories I read. Sometimes I read to get away from my life, other times it was to find a friend, whatever the reason, I was in that story somehow. I started writing my own stories, daydreaming making up stories in almost every waking hour that I wasn't responsible for school work. Even average chores turned into magical experiences. By the time I hit High School I turned to writing poetry to express my angst, to work through all the trauma life had given me, and largely to deal with my mom's death. I was published in several anthologies, and awarded several editors choice awards. My confidence grew, I was a writer! I was going to go to school and major in English and minor in Music and Theater and I was going to follow my dreams!

What were my dreams? I wanted to be a writer, a singer/songwriter, a dancer, a model an actress and artist. Notice a common theme? I even received an award from the Governor for my digital art display that was entered into a traveling display. I went to the big state concerts for Cello and Choir, I was ready to go after my dreams in college. I went to college and I enrolled in English, and Music, and took art classes, and I worked full time and several jobs, when you work that much your grades do suffer, there is not much help for it. Eventually, after hearing:

• What are you going to do with that degree?
• Why don't you do something more realistic?
• Don't you know the likely hood of you making a living at that are next to impossible?
• How will you support yourself with that degree if you can't get a job?
• That industry only works for people who know people?
• Your passions are just hobbies?
• You'll never make it.

All these things were said, and much more cruel things that I don't bother to give much thought to nowadays.

What did I do? I changed my major, I went on to get my Bachelor's in Science in Business Management with a computer science minor. Then I went on to get my Master in Science in Information Science an American Library Association accredited program. I bought myself a newer car, then a house, then a motorcycle, but something was still missing. I wasn't happy. Because I wasn't doing what I loved to do.

So, faced with this new reality, having everything I was supposed to have, and still feeling somewhat empty I took a new approach. I kept my job as a dispatcher for several years before I took a programming job, but I started to work on my writing and music again. Shortly after I got my studio set up, I had to tear it down to take in two wonderful children, my niece and nephew. I changed jobs to another firm for programming so I could be at home with them but the company fell on hard times and I was laid off. So I wrote, I self published a few books of poetry, I worked on music and sold a few songs, and I started a novel. I graduated with my Masters degree just in time to take a part time librarian position with a wonderful library that became my springboard. I went from that librarian position to being the director of a small library. It wasn't where I thought I would be but it was where I needed to be. More importantly it showed me where I was supposed to go.

I had it wrong when I was younger and I wanted the fame and wealth, I had it wrong even a few years ago when I wanted the fame and wealth because I wanted to drive change and save the world (yes I am one of those people, insert giggle here). I wanted it all and I wanted it right then, but I missed the point. I loved to write, I loved to create, so what does it matter if I get paid for it. I love being a librarian, I have always loved the library, and for the first time I was doing something that fit in with my dreams, even facilitated them.

I found a job where reading and writing were part of it, I found a job that reminded me that it was the passion of putting the words out there, of seeing your name in print, or getting a comment that you helped someone, or writing that song that helps someone because the identify with it. That was when I realized the most common mistake people make is not to ignore their dreams and passions but also to pursue them for the wrong reasons.

Pursue your dreams and passions because you love to do them, don't try to make them a job, but do try to find work that compliments your dreams and passions and reflects you. Surround yourself with supportive people, welcome constructive criticism but do not welcome abuse or negativity. It really is easy once you get to this point, but I took a rather long difficult road to get here! I hope I can help you avoid some of those difficult paths with this tidbit of my experience.

Namaste,

Michol Mae