Trust

Trust
by Michol Mae

So you lied, just like they all do,
they all lie for different reasons,
but the reasons are all selfish,
still, they want you to believe them.

They lie and say it's to protect you.
they don't want you to be hurt,
but I've known this as a child,
they always put themselves first.

I haven't had the pleasure,
to know an honest man,
instead I've known the bad ones,
and a few who raised their hands.

I've been beaten, dragged, and left,
and yet here I still stand,
because I'm stronger than your lies,
let me show my poker hand

I'm tired of being lied too,
because I believe in being good,
I'm sick of being called naive,
because I expect you to act like you should.

Maybe I have daddy issues,
they lied, and abandoned us both,
they sure didn't set a good example,
my mother, and I left broken souls.

So you go tell yourself your story,
try to convince yourself and then me,
tell the whole world your lies,
but I'm done trusting in things I can't see.

The saddest thing of all,
is that you took away that trust,
you took it with all your lies,
without trust I don't know if I can love.

Changing Vacations Plans and Growing Pains

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about all of the changes to my vacation plans, as well as HOW I vacation. The last few years I run my vacations like I have been running my life, I try desperately to stuff as much in as possible so that I can see everyone that I miss.  Now I have several families and a few friends that I love to see, but they are everywhere, family in New Orleans, friends in Florida, Family in Georgia, Friends in So. Carolina and Family and Friends in Virginia and that is a lot of ground to cover.

Yet, this most recent plan has lead to some very careful consideration, not only on how I vacation, but also on rather or not I am engaging in a one-sided relationship, as well as what that might or might not mean.  I mean does it matter if my relationship with my friends and family is sided, if I love them then I should not expect that in return.  Right? That is what love is about isn't it? Well, let's work through this, take a trip through a small portion of my world.

I planned my vacation about 6 months ago, when I took my new job I made sure to get approval for my vacation in July, and although I told some of my family that the vacation was still approved.  As it got closer to vacation my family in New Orleans had some other things going on, and New Orleans itself had a festival so it lead to a change in our plans, I thought perhaps we could go to Myrtle Beach first instead of second but it was too short notice to book plans there, so we changed our plans to Florida.

All of this last minute changing was stressing me out, how was I going to fit everything in, now I have an extra place I have to stay, considerably longer than expected, and I still have all of these other places I have to fit in if I am going to see everyone.  So, I was chatting with a friend about my concerns and she looked at me for a moment and then shared with me some experiences that she had.  She told she used to do the same thing, she would run around, trying to see everyone whenever she had vacation and subsequently she wasn't really relaxing.  Then she said she realized something, she was going down to Virginia to visit her family and they were never coming to visit her.  I stifled my protest " But, we live in New York".  She continued to explain her solution and the results.  So the next time she went down near her family she would tell them where she would be and let them come to her. Her result was that some family didn't come to her even when she was near by, and others came to see her everytime.  She started to realize that it is a two way street, and she deserved the piece of mind that a vacation can bring.

Her advice to me was not to run around everywhere, tell them where you will be and let them come to you. I protested "But I will be a few hours away" her reply "It's closer to them than you are right now" and her question to me "Have any of them come to visit you here" I said out of everyone that I run to visit only 2 or 3 have made the trip or suggested a trip or suggested I meet them halfway.   She said I deserved a vacation, a real vacation where I am not running around everywhere.

So there it was, how many people in my family have come to visit, how many even replied to my message that I would be in the area?  My grandpa & nana replied to me, who will be in Georgia, I will stop in to see and be sure to visit, but I do honestly believe they would come to me in Florida or So. Carolina, because they have come to me here in New York.   My friends Sam (in so.Carolina) and Joyce (Florida) moved from New York and so they also come back to visit, but again I believe they would come to me in So. Caroline and Florida respectively.  My family in New Orleans has things going on, and it is probably too far for them to drive to Florida or So.Carolina to visit, so I expect that perhaps we will plan a separate trip at another time.

The more I thought about this older and wiser woman's advice the more I realized, I have always yearned for my families love, sometimes to an unhealthy degree, certainly they are not sitting around saying I hope Michol Mae is proud of me or I hope Michol Mae loves me, yet I would sit and ponder my family and friends. I would strive for my dad's approval.  But here it is folks, I am not a child anymore, I have looked many of my issues in the eye and moved on from them.  My abandonment and orphan related issues are more difficult but not impossible to move on from.  Lots of kids grow up without a mom and a dad, lots of kids get shipped from one place to another, from one family to another, and lots of kids have families that let them go, shun them, forget them, or have fair weather relationships with them, so really I could have it a lot worse.

I always wanted to move back home to Virginia and it was often my first or second choice for vacation, for years upon years all I wanted was to move back, but I had low paying jobs working my way through college and every time I tried to move some major expense would come up and I would be too poor to move or even vacation.  I had no place down there to move to while I got on my feet and the result was some in my family stopped believing I ever would move, in fact my youngest sister said she didn't believe it would ever happen.  Now, she is right. I love Virginia, I do, but that is the child in me longing for the life I had before everything fell apart.  I still do not always like New York, and one day when I do escape this state it will be to move someplace I love, someplace without the pain and baggage that comes with Virginia.  So why would I vacation there?  I think my friends Paula and Angie would come visit me in So. Carolina, and if my family wants to see me I'm not too far away.

Ultimately, all of this thinking and reshuffling and changing of plans got so overwhelming that I said, "I just want to go on vacation! A real vacation, where I don't have to run from place to place and worry about everything, I want to relax!"  And so it happened I am booked in Orlando Florida for a week and going to Myrtle Beach for a week and we will stop and see grandpa and nana on the way down and up.  I will let all my family and friends in the area know where I am, in case they want to visit.  I am who I am and I love my family and friends for who they are, but their validation and approval of me, even their love for me is no longer something I can continue to vie for and lead a healthy and positive life.

~Namaste

College Education - Inmates and Citizens

You have all probably heard about Governor Cuomo's new plan to give inmates a college degree for free, the result was outrage from some and full support from others.  It seems at times people are split on two sides of an invisible fence that does not allow for compromise or alternate solutions. So let me attempt to look at this from all aspects.

My first reaction to this plan to spend a potential $137 billion on giving inmates free college education was complete outrage.  I worked hard, went to college and I am am now tens of thousands in debt, to make matters worse I didn't find a job that could pay remotely what I needed to support my family and pay back all of these loans, I have to deal with ridiculous interest rates, harassing phone calls and all the stress that comes along with it.  So, I hear this proposal to give inmates FREE college education, and yes I was outraged!  You are going to give a criminal, who made bad decisions and committed crimes a free education while I and my fellow students struggle.  You are going to give a criminal who made bad decisions and committed crimes a potential $137 billion while our schools and libraries are underfunded and constantly cut, yes I was outraged.  Yet, let's take a look at all sides of this, if you stick with me, I might have some alternate suggestions worth looking at.  I am still outraged, I still have much more to say about it all in my closing.

One of the few articles I have found in favor of Cuomo's new plan was a Forbes Opinion piece, I read through it, considered the points and then noticed it was written by an Academic Coordinator in partnership with Hudson Link for Higher Education in Prison, hardly an unbiased opinion, but we will consider her point nonetheless.

Emily Patka of Sienna College is a supporter of Cuomo's plan, she says prisons should not be used only as a tool of punishment but of rehab.  She also chastises society for being "stuck in revenge mode" and encourages us to set aside the possible "moral repercussions" of having that mindset.  She also lets us know that not every inmate will be accepted into the program, in fact she says each person is "thoroughly vetted through a rigorous application process to determine inmates who are academically talented and prepared for college."  To support her point she let's us know that 95 percent of those currently incarcerated will be released in the future, if they return to prison the state expects to shell out $60 thousand a year, and Cuomo's plan would translate to $5 thousand a year.  She furthers her point by letting us know her partner Hudson Link for Higher Education in Prison has a less than 1 percent recidivism rate for 168 graduates. (Forbes Opinion Article)

A NYTimes article claims that Nationwide as many as half of all inmates released end up back in prison within three years.  The article attempts to explain why this might be, citing reliable and cost-effective education behind bars as the main reason, and lets us know that nearly 40 percent of prisoners do not have a high school diploma.  Another point they make is the decision in 1994 to deny federal Pell grants to people in prison (who received only 1 percent of the Pell grants) dropping prison degree programs from 350 to about 12.  This same article claims there is a direct correlation between the higher rates of employment for those who receive an education.    

Want more statistics on the benefits of inmate education check out https://www.bja.gov/Publications/RAND_Correctional-Education-Meta-Analysis.pdf.  This link gives you all the research on how educational programs substantially reduced the risk of returning to the system within three years.

Finding opposing views of the Governor's move was not difficult, so I am only citing two that I have come across.  The Democrat & Chronicle has a plethora of quotes from officials criticizing the plan.

• Sen. Greg Ball of Putnam County says "In a world of finite resources, where we are struggling to find funding for education for our kids, the last thing New York state should be funding is college tuition for convicts"
• Assemblyman James Skoufis of Orange county says "Our students face out-of-control costs and crushing debt if they decide to pursue a degree — hardworking families need help going to college, not prison inmates"
• Sen. Mark Grisanti says "I support rehabilitation and reduced recidivism, but not on the taxpayer's dime when so many individuals and families in New York are struggling to meet the ever-rising costs of higher education"
• Assemblyman James Tedisco says “Rewarding criminal behavior with free college education reinforces their actions and makes them smarter criminals, ... This is definitely ‘Breaking Bad’ by potentially turning a bunch of Jesse Pinkmans into Walter Whites – all on the taxpayer’s dime.” (Inside Higher Ed) ***Now I have to watch this show to get the reference!

In the same  Democrat & Chronicle article we learn NY actually has a 3% lower recidivism rate than the nationwide average according to the a 2011 report, and New York has quite a few flourishing (since the decision in 1994 to end tuition assistance in prisons) privately funded programs to provide college education to prisoners.  Not to mention changes in laws have lead to a fall from 72,600 in 1999 to about 54,200 and the closing of nine prisons. 

Alternative Solutions:

• Ball said he has proposed legislation that would establish a state income-tax deduction on student loan payments.
• Colleges like Cornell, and Cayuga Community College have a prison education program they fund with a grant, why isn't this the standard. 
• A common Consensus is that Education in prison give prisoners jobs when they are out preventing them from ending up back in - So offer a job program, or offer vocational training, but do so on grants.  
• Find committees and foundations willing to work towards securing funds and grants for programs for inmates, so as not to use public funds. 
• Put public funding back to the schools and libraries, make it possible for everyone to attend college  without incurring outrageous cost. 

Let me argue a point here for a moment, the prison system is supposed to be punishment of course, but also reform, it is NOT supposed to be a reward, offering a FREE college education would be a reward, and one that you are not offering to many students that have incurred student loans so steep they can't breathe when they think of it, but they worked hard sometimes working a multitude of jobs and raising a family so that they could get that degree complete with it's debt and now you want me to take pity on prisoners who made the bad decisions and did the bad things.  I am a compassionate person, I truly believe they should receive an education if they want one, but NOT before you address the people in this world who have worked hard and find themselves struggling because the jobs are not there or don't pay enough to pay back the high interest rates of student loans.  Further, I believe we should be working towards educating people BEFORE they are in the prison system and not AFTER they are in, and if you are so concerned about them ending up in prison an alternative might be to give them a college education scholarship of some kind upon their release.  

So there you have both sides of the fence and a few, although not a completely comprehensive list, alternative solutions.  However, the real issue, the root of the issue has not been addressed.  I find it astounding that American's seem to blithely ignore the root of issues, every system is covered in band aids until one day all of those band aids leak so badly the entire system starts to feel it, the entire system starts to break down.  The root of the issue here, is how can we prevent people from committing the crimes that put them in jail, the root of the issue is how do we extend education to everyone BEFORE they choose this deteriorating life.  The answer to that is very simple and in fact in The Corruption-of-our-Education-System.html, the answer is educating, and facilitating pride in education.  We as a society need to stand up united under the goal of becoming a smarter more educated nation.  There are other countries that do not have the same massive gaps based on socioeconomics, so let's stop trying to blame people, or coddle people.  Let's make sure our society says education is important! Let's ingrain it in every young person, let's ensure that our future is one in the top percentile because we banded together and fostered a sense that learning is the best thing you can do for yourself.  Learn a trade, learn a hobby, learn whatever you are interested but for the love of this country LEARN SOMETHING.  

Let's stop putting band aids on our society, lets stand up and make a difference, let's make America great once again, innovative once again.  It starts with you, the person reading this right now, don't wait for someone else, you can foster this love of learning, it does not matter how poor you are libraries are free! Let's raise our voices, and be heard, put funding into our schools and libraries, reduce interest rates for college students or better yet give them the funding to get their degree and not be mired in debt. 

Go read a book, visit your favorite library and write your legislators!

The Corruption of our Education System

Education, the most fundamentally important aspect of progressive life.  We must learn to survive and advance.  If you can learn you can do anything. That's right anything can be done with the drive and desire to learn and make it so.  Countries all around the world are comparing themselves to each other, it's a global competition.  Whomever has the smartest, most educated people will drive the world into the future.

So, who will be driving us into the future?  Perhaps it will be Shanghai since they scored highest on Program for International Student Assessment (PISA), which was administered last fall 2012.  In fact, according to the same source, American scored below the international average in math and slightly below average in science and roughly average in reading, compared against dozens of other countries (Although in a 1,000 point system no country scored higher than 613. (NBC)

What does this say about the importance we put on education?  What does this say about our attitude towards education?  What does it say about out drive? It looks pretty bleak to me folks.

According to another article "Black and Hispanic adults in the United States are three to four times more likely to have poor skills than white adults, according to an OECD analysis. About 35 percent of black adults and 43 percent of Hispanic adults score low in literacy, compared to 10 percent of white adults. In numeracy, 59 percent of black adults and 56 percent of Hispanic adults score low, compared to 19 percent of white adults." However, "The report found that socioeconomic background has a stronger impact on proficiency levels in the U.S. than in other countries. The association is weaker among 16- to 20-year-olds, which could reflect more equity in the education system or the delayed impact of parents’ education." (Inside Higher Ed)    

I acknowledge that there could be quite a few different reasons for socioeconomic backgrounds to have a lower impact on proficiency levels in countries other than the U.S.  Regardless of the reasons, I think we can take one thing away from this, socioeconomic factors do not need to have a strong impact on proficiency levels.  So let's stop trying to play the poverty card.

What is different in other countries, how do they progress while we continue to fall behind.  In Shanghai
"Beginning in 1985, in an attempt to move away from the high-pressure exam system and increase the quality of education, Shanghai began to allow students to take elective courses, which led to new textbooks and materials. Implemented in 2008, a renewed effort to encourage student learning rather than accumulation of knowledge, led to eight curricular “learning domains”:

• language and literature
• mathematics
• natural science
• social sciences
• technology
• arts
• physical education
• practicum

Schools were then encouraged to create their own curriculum and outside groups such as museums became partners in education. Part of the new curriculum includes an emphasis on inquiry-based education. Students independently explore research topics of interest to themselves in order to promote social wellbeing, creative and critical thinking, and again, learning to learn.

To support the new education changes, certification processes for teachers were implemented. Teacher professional development requirements also increased – teachers in Shanghai must now complete 240 hours of professional development in five years. An online database provides help with design and implementation of curriculum, research papers, and best practice examples. Teachers are now encouraged to allow time for student activities in classrooms rather relying solely on presentations."  (http://asiasociety.org/education/learning-world/shanghai-worlds-best-school-system)

Interesting, so you mean they don't have a "common core" they encourage creative and critical thinking, learning to learn, and facilitate a societal and family pressure to do well academically? Perhaps they have figured out that the real key is to motivate young people at a young age, the key is to support education and encourage it, the key is to foster a love of learning, the key is to come together as a society and present a united message that education is important.  

Today in America there are a lot of excuses, socioeconomic, political propaganda, budget constraints, declining family structures, and the list goes on.  Let's not forget the deprecation of competition, everyone is a winner, so why bother trying, you know you will get the prize.  Parents are not emphasizing education, content to let the TV or video games occupy their child so they can earn a living or worse yet because they have no desire to truly parent their kid.  You are not your child's friend, you are their parent and hopefully a good role model, turn off the TV from time to time and have them read a book!  

Let's stop making excuses, it does not matter how poor you are, it does not matter if you are in a broken home, nothing should stop you from learning.   What does matter is that we as a society start to say Education is important, let's make our schools and libraries our priority.  Let's make a commitment to be the best of the best again.  

"One interesting strategy employed by Shanghai to improve weak schools is the commissioned education program. Under this scheme, top performing schools are assigned a weak school to administer. The “good” school will send a team of teachers and a principal to lead the school and improve it. This has been happening within the city but also as a type of exchange program with poor rural schools. Such a system assists the poor schools and benefits Shanghai schools by allowing them to promote teachers and administrators."

Let's start looking at what those in the top ranking of education are doing, learn from that and move forward.  Let's give our kids incentive to go to school, and then continue with school to vocational schools or colleges, and let's be sure they(or their parents) won't have to incur massive amounts of debt to do so!

It all starts when we are children, but you are never too old to learn.  Yet, the cost of continuing education is critical as well, a parent who wants an education so they can pass that on to their kids shouldn't have to go knee deep in debt, so we can not continue to look at a segregated education system that slices higher education into a different place.  I started writing this article because I was outraged over my student loans, which cost a fortune and only landed me a job for a fraction of what I owe, but upon searching out sources this article formed, more on our college education and student loans next!

Now that you are thinking, I take my leave to catch some shut eye, read a book!

The Most Common Mistake – Real vs. Fantasy

The Most Common Mistake – Real vs. Fantasy.

I have done a lot with my life, more that many not as much as some, yet I still find there is more to do. There is always something I can write about, some question that keeps coming up, some answer that seems elusive until someone else comes along with it. Today, while sitting down reading about writing habits, I came across a movie about a writer who made on of the most common mistakes that I see people make. I fell prey to this mistake as well, and I hope if you read this that I can inspire you not to make that mistake.

What is the most common mistake?

• It is foregoing your dreams and passions for what the perceives as something more realistic.

• It is ignoring that passion and innate talent and forcing yourself into an average job you are unhappy with.
• It is believing that your passions, no matter how rare, are somehow less than what the average people are doing.
• It is choosing to take a path that makes you unhappy simply because you do not believe you can do what you love.
• It is choosing the humdrum over the outrageous.

I could go on, instead let me give you advice I wish I had, advice that I wish I would have been smart enough to take if it were offered during the times in my life when I was pursuing my dreams.

The Advice:

• Be outrageous! Add in a sprinkle of realism and you will do just fine!
• Do what you love, find your passion and pursue it! Try and find a job in or related to what you love so you can support yourself while you pursue your passion.
• Do it for the love of doing it! Don't do it for the money, the fame or the fortune. Do it because you love it. I believe the saying goes something like a man who loves what he does, does not work a day in his life.
• Don't listen to the naysayers, surround yourself with supportive people who want to see you succeed. Constructive criticism can be very valuable, negative criticism is worthless.

The Story:

You might be sitting there reading this wondering who is this to give advice. Well let me tell you a little story about myself. I was always a writer. It all started when I was very young, I loved to read, I would sneak under the covers with a flashlight to finish reading a book every night I could. Most writers have a similar story. I had a vivid imagination, I loved to read and imagine the stories coming to life. I could smell, hear, taste and see everything in the stories I read. Sometimes I read to get away from my life, other times it was to find a friend, whatever the reason, I was in that story somehow. I started writing my own stories, daydreaming making up stories in almost every waking hour that I wasn't responsible for school work. Even average chores turned into magical experiences. By the time I hit High School I turned to writing poetry to express my angst, to work through all the trauma life had given me, and largely to deal with my mom's death. I was published in several anthologies, and awarded several editors choice awards. My confidence grew, I was a writer! I was going to go to school and major in English and minor in Music and Theater and I was going to follow my dreams!

What were my dreams? I wanted to be a writer, a singer/songwriter, a dancer, a model an actress and artist. Notice a common theme? I even received an award from the Governor for my digital art display that was entered into a traveling display. I went to the big state concerts for Cello and Choir, I was ready to go after my dreams in college. I went to college and I enrolled in English, and Music, and took art classes, and I worked full time and several jobs, when you work that much your grades do suffer, there is not much help for it. Eventually, after hearing:

• What are you going to do with that degree?
• Why don't you do something more realistic?
• Don't you know the likely hood of you making a living at that are next to impossible?
• How will you support yourself with that degree if you can't get a job?
• That industry only works for people who know people?
• Your passions are just hobbies?
• You'll never make it.

All these things were said, and much more cruel things that I don't bother to give much thought to nowadays.

What did I do? I changed my major, I went on to get my Bachelor's in Science in Business Management with a computer science minor. Then I went on to get my Master in Science in Information Science an American Library Association accredited program. I bought myself a newer car, then a house, then a motorcycle, but something was still missing. I wasn't happy. Because I wasn't doing what I loved to do.

So, faced with this new reality, having everything I was supposed to have, and still feeling somewhat empty I took a new approach. I kept my job as a dispatcher for several years before I took a programming job, but I started to work on my writing and music again. Shortly after I got my studio set up, I had to tear it down to take in two wonderful children, my niece and nephew. I changed jobs to another firm for programming so I could be at home with them but the company fell on hard times and I was laid off. So I wrote, I self published a few books of poetry, I worked on music and sold a few songs, and I started a novel. I graduated with my Masters degree just in time to take a part time librarian position with a wonderful library that became my springboard. I went from that librarian position to being the director of a small library. It wasn't where I thought I would be but it was where I needed to be. More importantly it showed me where I was supposed to go.

I had it wrong when I was younger and I wanted the fame and wealth, I had it wrong even a few years ago when I wanted the fame and wealth because I wanted to drive change and save the world (yes I am one of those people, insert giggle here). I wanted it all and I wanted it right then, but I missed the point. I loved to write, I loved to create, so what does it matter if I get paid for it. I love being a librarian, I have always loved the library, and for the first time I was doing something that fit in with my dreams, even facilitated them.

I found a job where reading and writing were part of it, I found a job that reminded me that it was the passion of putting the words out there, of seeing your name in print, or getting a comment that you helped someone, or writing that song that helps someone because the identify with it. That was when I realized the most common mistake people make is not to ignore their dreams and passions but also to pursue them for the wrong reasons.

Pursue your dreams and passions because you love to do them, don't try to make them a job, but do try to find work that compliments your dreams and passions and reflects you. Surround yourself with supportive people, welcome constructive criticism but do not welcome abuse or negativity. It really is easy once you get to this point, but I took a rather long difficult road to get here! I hope I can help you avoid some of those difficult paths with this tidbit of my experience.

Namaste,

Michol Mae

Politics - Guns, Welfare, Society & Education

Let's talk about politics. I know, I know, you groan, and think is that all we every talk about these days. Well, I talk about much more but since it keep coming up, let me lay my position out for you.

Recently I had a man tell me that I couldn't talk politics without personally slandering a person.

Wrong!

I talk policies, I talk about parties, I talk about my opinions, which everyone has.  It is all relative.  And Cue argument here.  This man says to me the world was filled with people who believed everything was relative before they were persecuted.

Now, we have a debate.

It truly is all relative, but that does not mean I don't have an opinion! That doesn't mean that I don't speak out about the policy changes and parties in office.  Quite the contrary, I write as often as time permits about America and my opinion on where this country is going, I write for this blog and for a website www.writingliberty.com. Some of the article's I have written on the website include;

• Finding America
• The Softening Potbelly of Society
• The Decline of Personal and Societal Accountability
• Finding Integrity Accountability in America

I never much cared for "politics" to be honest it wasn't until the last election that I really started to dig in and form my own opinions free of media conglomerates and social media muck.  I try to stay open minded, open to information and educate myself on as much as I can.  That said this is where I stand (not in it's entirety because I could write a good deal on each topic but in a nutshell and on the fly).

On Voting:

• I am sick of only seeing the two main parties in the media, there are many other parties and people that run.  I sometimes think the Democrats and Republicans all get together in a room, sit down at a card table, and divvy up all the policies so that we are always torn. 
• I am even more tired of people telling me that they vote for the "lesser of two evils" then whining about it when they don't like the person in office that they voted for.  YOU made the vote!  
• I am tired of people telling others they are wasting their vote if they vote for any party other than the two main parties.  Your civic duty is to vote for the person that best represents you.    

It is your duty to vote for the person that best represents you as a citizen.  If people would stop facilitating this two party system, if they stood up and demanded someone else, we might end up with real change.  

On Guns:

• Guns don't kill people, people kill people.  Simple and yet true
• Drug dealers and criminals are not going to turn in their guns, so why would you want to disarm the law abiding citizens of society. 
• It is a constitutional right to bear to keep and bear arms, and I am of the opinion that no one should take this right away from law abiding citizens.
• Worried about death's from gunfire, well what about dirty bombs made from household materials, no matter what you do if someone really wants to harm people they will find a way.  According to the FBI More people were killed with hammers and clubs than rifles.  More on this in another article where I will give you Government verified statistics. 
• Want to know the real defense against what appears to be senseless violence?  The answer is: education, compassion and tolerance.  

On Welfare:

• Our welfare system is broken.  I'm not saying get rid of it, I am saying we need to take another look at it. 
• Criminals and less than honest people know how to exploit it and they have the time to do so, while honest people trying to make a living are left behind. 
• You are paying people that don't work, increasing minimum wage, and leaving the middle class to further suffer. 
• In some circumstances it is more rewarding to stay "on the system" than it is to get out and find your own way, the system is enabling people, not encouraging them to get out and do something. 
• People that don't pay into the system ever should be the ones who receive the scrutiny, not the law abiding citizens who have been working their whole lives and finally break down and ask for help. 
• In the end, most of this comes down to society and having self respect and pride. 

On Society:

• There was a time when people took pride in their neighborhoods, their family and their work.  We have seen a decline in all of these areas. 
• The library used to be a well used and popular facility, it facilitated learning and community, now it's one of the first to be cut from the budget, instead we should be putting our resources into Libraries and Schools to educate our young people and give them options and alternatives to the dark roads we fear they will take.
• More and more families are broken than ever before we would be foolish to think that this doesn't have a large impact on Society as a whole.  Now it takes a dual income to survive but more and more families are faced with single parenting or strained and separated parents, this leads to further complications when the parents each want to be the good guy, so they don't enforce rules or consequences, giving children a skewed sense of justice and the world. 
• There has been a steady decline in accountability, more and more laws passed to tell people what should be common sense. More and more people passing the buck or suing companies or people for things that they ought to have known better in the first place. 

On Education:

• The hot topic right now is the bill to give inmates free college education.  
• I'm not saying they shouldn't get an education, I would be more apt to give them vocational training, but I am saying it is not right to reward a criminal with a college degree while making the rest of the law abiding citizens pay for theirs. 
• I am saying that if you want to make a difference in the world you should be educating the young, starting in the school and utilizing the libraries to support families, and children long before they are faced with the possibility of turning to a life of crime.
• I am saying be proactive not reactive.
• I am saying let's no reward bad behavior.  If your kid throws a baseball through the neighbors window on purpose, you don't give him an ice cream. 
• Education is the foundation, what we do and how we act is based on some sort of education, so if we focused on quality education, quality in our schools and libraries as well as various other faculties of education are the key to a successful future.  
• A great deal is taught in school where the minds of the young are mailable, who are the people teaching our kids?  Where is the funding for our kids? Who can homeschool their children under the current system as a single parent?  How to public schools hold up?  I could write forever on this.  But alas, I am out of time for the day. 

It is very likely that many will agree with my opinions, it is also likely that some will disagree or make counter points, I welcome your opinions in either case, I welcome information that confirms or counters my opinions. Please feel free to comment! 

Namaste, 

Michol Mae

Stress Management - Reconciling the Past Present and Future

Who was I?  Who am I? Who will I be?  Who do I want to be?  The answer: I am myself. in all of these questions I am still myself.  Yes I have seen the changes through the years, some will call it growth, perhaps some digressions, others success, and yet others will say I am the same.

They would all be right.

Yes, I have grown, digressed, succeeded and failed, and I am still at my core myself.  Yet, I have lost myself.  Have you ever lost yourself?  I feel as though everyone losses themselves from time to time, they get caught up in all of the peripherals and lose sight of themselves.  It can be easy to do, you go through life and layer it with more and more responsibility, more and more to lose (or so you think) more and more stress, and you find yourself feeling all sorts of feelings, then you get a little nostalgic, you think back to the days in high school, or grade school, perhaps college, those days when mom and dad paid the bills had the stress and you just worked on your grades, well some of you did.  You look at your life and you think, have I changed?

No.  You did not change you adapted to the perceived stress, the perceived risk of loss, you gained more responsibilities and became more responsible and with that you became more stressed, but you at your core are likely the same.   You get nostalgic because you miss that free spirited feeling, that feeling of freedom, where now you feel confined.  It's a ripple effect as well, no you are stressed your mind body and spirit can be affected.  You find little things that you used to do, music you used to listen to bring up feelings you can almost identify with but not quite enjoy because you now have a wall.  A wall of perception that is quite real in your mind. The wall that says you can't be who you were you have to be responsible.  Can't you be responsible and still enjoy who you were at your core?

Of Course!  Break the wall. Break the illusion of control.  Let's face it, in this day and age everyone is stressed out about potential job loss, home foreclosures, war and a variety of other potential stresses.  Why add to them.  What can you control?

Yourself.  You can control yourself, how you act and react, even how you feel that is what you can control.

Let's get back to basics, what do you need?  I mean really need.  Make a list. Look at it again, what can you cross off, you don't NEED a big screen TV that is a want.  You NEED to put a roof over your head and have food.  Do you have that?  Are you able to provide that at this moment every month?  If you can find your needs and meet your basic needs, the rest is all mental.

Yes. Mental.  You have to retrain your brain now to recognize needs and wants.  Sure you want to get out of debt, did you want that when you were in college, chances are no, you wanted an education and it cost you some debt, but you pursued it because you knew it was important.  So sit with yourself for a moment and consider your needs and you wants, while you are at it consider who you want to be.  Chances are you don't want to be that angry person losing their mind because someone gave you the wrong coffee, wouldn't you rather free yourself from the knee jerk reactions and be able to respond to things without losing it.  It is not easy in the beginning but it can be done if you decide that is the direction you truly want to go.

I made that decision.  I also decided to share with you what works and does not work for me.  For now I have to run, I have work to attend to. Think about it, leave me comments, sometimes writing it out or chatting with a friend is all you need to do to realize where you are and where you want to be.

Namaste
Michol Mae