About the Officer Who Killed an Injured Girl's Father

Based on limited information of opposing articles I would like to take a moment to offer my thoughts on this issue that is making it's round through Facebook.  

Sun-Times Metro News

Oh where do I start.  This is a tragedy, and sadly one that could have been avoided in several stages.  As a parent I understand the fury that must have been present but I know in my case concern for my child would have come first and getting her to a hospital would have been my priority.  The original link that I came across (FreePatriot) it sounds like he deliberately ran her over, when the reporter states she ran in front of him.  Further the Sun-Times reports that "a girl suddenly dart(ed) into the street" As a biker I understand that when a child runs in front of you all you can do is dump the bike, so he willingly dumped his bike and subjected himself to hitting the pavement and sustain injuries to try and avoid a child who ran in front of him. 

Onto the next issue of why she was running into the road, she wasn't holding the 18 year old's hand whom she was with, she didn't look both ways.  As a parent I have my kids hold my hands and when I cannot I stand in the road while they cross to be sure they are safe.  I asked my 8 & 9 year old who was to blame for this crash and they both said the little girl is to blame.  They are not entirely correct, while I applaud my children for knowing that they should not run out into the road, it was not the little girls fault.  It was the parents who never taught her that she needed to hold a hand, it was the cousin who didn't hold her hand, she is a 4 year old, someone should have taught her.  

No according to the FreePatriot article, it would seem that the officer shot the father for no reason, when according to the Sun-Times Metro News "Middleton (the father) struck the officer in the face, knocked him to the ground and continued to hit him, according to Shapiro. Passley (the cousin) allegedly joined in and kicked the officer, Shapiro said. The officer then drew his gun and shot Middleton once. “He was about to lose consciousness to people beating him,” said Camden, defending the actions of the officer, who works in a West Side police district. “He fired in defense of his life.” So the officer shot in self-defense, he was on the ground, being beat, and losing consciousness, after ditching his bike and hitting the pavement in an effort to avoid a 4 year old girl who didn't know any better than to run across the road.  According to the Sun-Times Metro News the officer is expected to recover from his injuries but was left with contusions to his head and body from the attack and a possible broken leg and broken shoulder from the crash, Camden said."  The little girl "suffered contusions and abrasions and was hospitalized overnight for observation."  

So let me break this down for you if I can;

1. If the little girl had been taught not to run into the street it could have been avoided, but she is a child so let’s say she forgot as children sometimes do.
2. The person she was walking with could have grabbed her, when that didn't happen the rider dropped his bike and although she was hurt she was alive (a point I feel to be important since had he not she would have substantially less chance at survival). 
3. At that stage the father could have focused on his injured daughter instead of the biker.  He could have focused his fear and concern to calling the police and an ambulance and attending to his little girl. 
4. As a parent his rage and concern of his child could have made him temporarily insane and so he attacked the officer.  At this point a couple other things could have happened. 
1. The cousin could have tried to keep the piece instead of jumping in.
2. The rest of the onlookers could have tried to keep the men apart.

However, neither of those things happened.  and so the officer had two choices he could have let them beat him unconscious and beyond or he could have defended himself.  Now in defending himself he could have wounded the man, however, with the loss of control over the situation and two people beating on him while he was on the ground and losing consciousness it is possible that his training kicked in and he reacted.  I suspect if he had wounded him to stop him there would have been publicity and a law suit either way, because it couldn't possibly be the fault of anyone else (sarcasm), it couldn't possibly have been an accident, which is defined by Merriam Webster as : a sudden event (such as a crash) that is not planned or intended and that causes damage or injury or : an event that is not planned or intended : an event that occurs by chance.  What I do know is this is not the fault of the officer, or the 4 year old girl.  It is the fault of the parents not teaching their child to run in the street, the cousin for not being a responsible adult and the father for not controlling his temper and putting personal vengeance over the welfare of his daughter and that is to say nothing of his automatic assignment of blame to the man who laid down his bike in an attempt not to harm his daughter and willingly putting himself in danger.  

On Guns & Gun Control

Let’s talk about guns.  This controversial topic always gets people riled up, and by nature any stance I take will be argued by the proverbial “other side”.  That being said I have quite a few issue to address.  The very first and most crucial is the claim that banning guns from law abiding citizens is somehow going to make the world a safer place, it seems the people that claim this take it on faith that the criminal element will be turning theirs in.  Now, you don’t have to be all that educated to see the problem with this logic.  By banning guns from the law abiding citizens of the United States of America you are unarming them and not the criminals, just in case you miss the point,  the criminals will be armed and society will not.  What could possibly go wrong?  Everyone seems to have heard the phrase “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” I would like to reiterate this.  A gun by itself is not the danger, in fact, it can’t do anything by itself, the person holding it can. 

Now there are many people who will argue that there needs to be more background checks, more security, more regulation, more rules.  No doubt these are the same types of people that likely don’t care about the constant infringement on their right to privacy, they don’t care if they are monitored in everything they do.  Or perhaps they do care, but because it wouldn’t personally affect them I this particular issue they are willing to overlook it.  Here is my opportunity to reiterate one of my favorite quotes, “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety”- Ben Franklin.   

Now some of you are cheering in your seats, some are scratching their heads, and others are at this moment thinking up what they would consider to be clever retorts.  However, there is much more to this issue. 

I will try not to go on a tangent about the bias of the media here, but can someone explain how every single tragedy involving a gun, legally obtained or not, ends up in the news yet the self-defense stories and others that would take away this vilified image are not?  My guess, what many fail to realize is that the media is politically motivated and right now your Politian’s want to disarm you. They want to disarm you of your weapons and in some ways I think think they want to disarm you of free-thinking. 

Now again some will agree and others will be thinking of arguments, one of which is likely the hot topic in the news now about the shooting in Washington D.C.  According to the Washington post, “Alexis was armed with an assault rifle and a handgun, two law enforcement officials said. One said he also had a shotgun. One official said all the weapons have not been accounted for.  According to ABC News "What the 1986 Firearms Owners' Protection Act did was it made it more convenient for gun buyers," said Kristen Rand, the legislative director at the Violence Policy Center. "That's the road we've been on for a while: The convenience of gun owner always seems to trump the right of victims not to be shot." Some of you are nodding your head right now in agreement, but I cannot agree with this statement. The problem is not, upholding the American peoples right to bear arms, no, the problem is with society.  You might be confused right now if you agreed with Kristen but many of a similar mindset to mine already know where I am going with this.  Accountability. 

The problem is not with the guns, the problem is we live in a society where people are not held accountable, the consequences of any potential actions are not real. There is no fear to act improperly because we have set the precedent that someone or something else is to blame.  If a man shot and killed someone I loved (which has happened) I would not want to overhaul gun laws, I would want that man brought to justice.  I would want that person to pay.  Moreover, I have experienced crime, my own loved ones have been attacked viciously, one was stabbed repeatedly, I didn’t demand something be done about knifes, I wanted those two men brought to justice.  So no I do not agree with Kristen Rand in fact I think in many cases of mass shootings, if others were armed casualties would be minimized. 

Now, some are working on a witty reply and others are happy that someone finally said what they were thinking.  Let me continue on to the concern of terrorism.  I really only have one thing to say.  If you start to live in fear, you have effectively let the terrorist win. Our world is changing and it has become increasingly violent, partially because of decline of accountability and integrity. 

I’m not unwilling to concede to some exceptions, but I do not agree with a ban.  Instead I would require the same process that we have for handguns for these so called “assault rifles.” I reiterate that law abiding citizens have the constitutional right to bear arms and the majority of gun owners is not in danger of committing mass murder.  In fact there have been cases of mass murder not involving guns, some were religious groups that used poison.  We don’t base all religious groups on these few, so why hold all gun owners to the few that have committed crimes, in fact I believe many crimes committed were not from legal gun owners.

I could write much more on this topic and no doubt there are quite a few of you looking to reply, but I will wrap this up.  The bottom line is we should not disarm law abiding citizens of America because there are bad people in the world.  The fact of the matter is there will always be bad people, in fact there will be criminals, and criminals and crazy people are going to get their hands on guns or home-made bombs if that is what they want.  If more law abiding citizens were armed there is a better chance they could prevent the bad people from having too many casualties.  Let me be clear, I am not talking about being a vigilantly, let the police do their job, but in certain situations if no police are present and you are in eminent danger you have the right to act. It is time we hold society and individual accountable for their own actions, it is time to stop blaming the guns, the poor childhood, or the myriad of psychological disorders. It is time to be accountable.

Increasing Your Sense of Self-Worth

I have told several people, on several occasions, I write and I sing, but who am I that anyone will care. For the most part people seem to agree, they would nod there head or say good for you to pursue your dreams, until one day I was talking with a friend of mine. I sat at my kitchen table talking with my friend, she is a relatively new friend but our friendship might as well started lifetimes ago. I said to her “Well, I write articles and blogs, and write my own music as a hobby, I love what I do but, why would people care about me, I’m a nobody: and I laughed at the absurd notion that people would seek me out specifically to read what I write. My friend did not laugh, instead her brow furrowed and she looked and gave me a reply that I would never have expected, due to the personal nature of the reply I will not write it word for word, but I will say she looked me in the eye and told me I was somebody, not a nobody. She pointed out all that I have done and been through and the value that I have to offer in the world in such a way she convinced me in that moment I was of value. I was SOMEONE! I felt pretty good about that, but I didn't act on it right away, I let it sit with me, roll around in my head a bit and from this one conversation came today’s topic self-worth.

How many people tell you that you are worth something? How many people make you feel like you are worthless? Unfortunately the odds may be stacked against you (Unless of course you are one of the lucky ones that compliments always came easy too, in which case hat’s off to you ). In today’s society it seems we have put a premium on being negative and are more likely to seek out the flaws of a person than to say something nice. To make matters worse I have heard an increasing number of people say “If S/He doesn’t say anything than that means I am doing good.” This kind of workplace practice spills over into relationships and if we are not careful before we know it the whole world will start adopting this negative based mentality, where it is acceptable to reprimand but never compliment. This can take a heavy toll on your self-esteem if you are not prepared.

It can be very challenging to change your mindset, but I challenge you to do just that, I challenge you to say “NO! I will not sit idly by while our society takes a further nose dive” and I encourage you to take back your personal power. Let me be one of the people to tell you that YOU are SOMEBODY! You have something to offer, I know that you do, and somewhere inside you know you do. Now you may be reading this thinking “Who is she to tell me I am someone!” yes, I get that response, and I don’t take it personally. Who am I, I am a mother, and aunt, a sister, a friend, a musician, a writer, an I.T. professional, a Librarian and so much more. Back in college I was asked to write a paper called I Am, and I wrote I Am Me! I filled that paper with who I was but the fact reminds that I am simply me, and I will change like the ebb and flow of the tide because that is the nature of life. Now, that we have that settled, who are you? You read this far so you must be somewhat interested in reclaiming your self-worth, perhaps you are even waiting patiently or otherwise for me to get to the part where I tell you how.

That being said let me give you a list of steps;

1) Challenge yourself to believe that you are worth something to the world, (clicktotweet) at some point in life someone may have told you or lead you to believe you were worthless, you do not have to agree with them, do not let them carry this influence over them. They have their opinion, let them have it, but know that you are worth something.

2) You are always worth something to someone (clicktotweet), in fact you are worth something to me, the fact that you are reading what I write makes me grateful to you, and the fact that you are willing to improve yourself and challenge negativity makes you valuable to the whole world.

3) Write a list of what you do well, everyone has things that they do well, if you struggle with this use social media to ask your friends and family what they think you do well. If you don’t want to do that then list what you love to do, and if you love to do it, you can learn to do it well.

4) Write a list of all the negative statements that anyone ever said to you, anything that diminished your self-worth, anything that stopped you from doing what you love, or just impacted you negatively. Then look at each of them ask yourself if you think it is true, then tell yourself it is not true, you do not accept it, and burn it, or crumple it and throw it away. When you are getting rid of this paper focus on it, you are releasing it.

5) Don’t take anything personally the fact is everyone acts out based on their own situation, some people could be telling you these negative things because they are jealous, because they are insecure, or because someone else told them the same thing, it’s not that they intentionally want to hurt you, they might not know better, but understand they do what they do because of themselves, not because of you. I had a woman completely dismiss me once, she shooed me away like I was of no value at all, and I was hurt, I was angry but I used some of the steps I am giving you and I was able to regain my composure, the next time I worked with her she was very polite and friendly, maybe she had a bad day, maybe she didn't get the angry response she expected, either way I knew it wasn't personal, and so I was able to finish my day and formulate a good relationship, where if I had reacted out of my own anger from my own feelings of insecurity I may have made an enemy. So don’t take it personal!

6) Express yourself. How many times do you hold things in? How often are you afraid of saying something? Chances are if you read this far, it’s pretty often, maybe you don’t like confrontation, maybe you want everyone to like you, whatever the reason, holding in anything is not healthy, what’s more holding it in can lead to misinterpretation. So take the time to formulate a response or comment, be kind but firm and assertive. I have a family member who will get mad and you know it because of her body language but you might have no idea why!? It’s maddening! I often thing isn't it better to just say it instead of getting all twisted inside, but then I wouldn't say anything for fear of getting her further upset and I got all twisted inside! Finally, I came to these steps and I used them, even with her, I was able to be honest, speak with integrity and prevent these twisted moments. If I suspected she was upset about something or that she was going to be upset I would say something like “I was afraid to wake you if I called so late, or I was afraid you would be aggravated if I came over at that time” You know our relationship is so much less twisted and she probably has no idea why! Don’t get me wrong it was not easy to do at first but after the first few times you realize you gain benefits from it. You are worth it! Express yourself! Your feelings are valid! (clicktotweet)

7) Give yourself a break! Realize that you are human, you will make mistakes, you will say the wrong thing, it’s okay, it doesn't matter how many mistakes you make you are still SOMEONE! In fact some of the greatest inventors of our time make hundreds and thousands of mistakes before discovering something that changed the world!( clicktotweet) Remember that, you can change the world!

Finally, although I could write much more on this topic, (in-fact perhaps I should write an e-book) remember that you cause a ripple effect in all that you do. A stone thrown into a pond ripples out with thousands of ripples, some large & some small but that stone started it all. You are that stone( clicktotweet), let your ripple effect be a positive one. If this helps you, I want to know! Leave a comment! If you have any helpful suggestions leave a comment!