Finding Your Way to Wellness – Tips on Weight Loss, Fitness and Wellness

I found myself writing this article in my head long before I sat down at the keyboard.  Chances are, if you are reading this, you want to get fit, lose weight or find a way to have a better sense of overall wellness.  You might be struggling with your body image, your fitness level, perhaps you just want to find a few better habits. 

I started thinking of this article after struggling with my weight for some time.  I was always a “skinny” girl growing up, and I always thought I was fat! Even when I was underweight!  As I got older I struggled more and more.  It seems as you age and your body changes it handles everything differently from stress to all the chemicals in your body, and it is easy to succumb and feel defeated.  DON’T!  There is a way out.

Now you are going to read what I tell you and it’s going to seem so simple,  and it is, IF you can commit to a wellness plan that fits you.

First, I want you to know that your fitness, weight loss, and wellness all start with you mind.  80% or more of getting fit and well is mental.  That means you have to make a few mental changes. 

The Mental Action Tips

1. Make the decision to get fit, well or lose weight.  You have to decide, before anything that you are going to commit to it.  Much like when a smoker decides to quit there will be many bad habits that you need to break and that starts with deciding to do so.
2. Take a hard look at how you treat yourself.  Would you let anyone else treat you that way? So why do you let yourself?  This is not easy, but it is critical to do!
3. Stop beating yourself up! That’s right STOP! Don’t say oh my goodness I have gained so much weight, oh my have flab, or I’m ugly.  If it is negative make the decision to stop it, and turn it positive.  Be honest with yourself about things, but positive.  You might weigh more than you like, that’s okay, we can fix that.  Tell yourself, okay so I gained some weight, that is okay, I am going to work it off.  Then you are eliminating some of the stress from yourself.  If there is something you want to change, be honest but positive!
4. Watch your stress level, different people handle stress different ways, I used to lose weight, now I gain it  from stress, so I know that stress is a killer for my wellness plan.  I took a look at what was stressing me out and one by one started to address those items. Take a moment to identify areas of stress, eliminate it if you can but if it is a fact of life, find ways to cope with it better.
5. Pamper yourself.  That’s right pamper yourself this goes along with the stress reduction.  IT might be as simple as  setting aside 30 minutes of you time at the end of the day where you light some candles and rub in some lotion.  Maybe you try meditation, or do your favorite hobby.  Whatever you decide it should make you feel great about yourself, happy and calm! You owe it to yourself so take at least 30 minutes and pamper yourself, and hour is better, the more time you can do this the better you feel and your stress levels will no longer be a factor.
6. Give yourself a break! It takes time, and you will probably fall off the wagon, life happens, you get sick, it’s OKAY! Just get back to it, remember you made a decision to!

The Physical Action Tips

1.  First things first get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep, your body needs it. I used to be very stubborn about this, I hated having to sleep because I have so much to do.  The bottom line is that your body needs this sleep to rest your muscles, your mind, as well as to process the events that have been happening. Studies show lack of sleep to be tied to obesity, so do yourself a favor and try for 7-8, if you have to get 6 and take an hour nap that day, but less than at once and you are stressing your body!
2. Drink water, lots of water! I used to hate this too, I was a soda drinker, hardcore!.  I have reformed, I started by adding in flavor to my water and now I can drink it flavored or not.  It is good practice to drink 2 Liters of water a day, then add in additional water when you work out.  So I will drink 2 liters a day and when I work out I often drink an addition liter.  Soda does dehydrate you, as does coffee, you might not feel it but it is a fact, I have seen people end up in the hospital for only drinking these items.
3. Get your physical activity in! Imagine that at least 30 minutes of physical activity is needed just to maintain your current situation, are you motivated to get that walk in yet?  Maybe walking isn’t for you, that is OKAY! Find what is right for you, find a work out that you like or better yet LOVE! It might take some time but don’t give up just because you don’t like one thing.  It is better to do something rather than nothing and if you enjoy it you will be more likely to do it!  I love ZUMBA and I am a certified instructor so that is what I love, but I like free weights as well, so I do both.  I don’t like running, but I do try to work it in when I am feeling adventurous, but I don’t force myself to do anything I don’t like because then I would be thinking of all the reasons I can’t or won’t do it!  Pick what you like and make a feasible schedule!
4. Start Small! If you are just getting back into a routine keep it simple, keep it shorter, don’t go all in and work out 2 hours, another mistake I used to do! Start with between 30-60 minutes if you can and if you can’t THAT’s OKAY, do what you can, and build on it every week!   If you start with 20 minutes after a few week (I usually change it up every 3) increase it by 5, 10 or 20! See what you can do!
5. HAVE FUN!  Do things you have fun doing! If you are a nature walker go for a long walk! If you like to dance go dancing or (of course) try ZUMBA! You get the idea, do what you like to do!
6. Watch your eating habits! Now I admit I am the last one to lecture on eating habits, I’m miss pizza and breakfast!  But alas you have to be careful that you don’t say well I worked out today so I can eat a 12 cut pizza to myself, no, no.  Moderation is key here, I would never say stop eating what you like, but use some good judgment on how much you eat, especially on items you know to be bad for you.  Try to add in “work-out” foods and drinks that help replenish what you lost.  A quick google search should help you with that! It will depend on the type of work out’s you do!

There you have it, a list of things that I have implemented that have helped me start slimming back down.  It’s not the end all be all, and every person is different but I do hope this helps some of you out there stuck in a rut.  Remember, don’t look at yourself and say oh my I’m so big, look at yourself and say oh, I am a little bigger than I would like to be, it’s okay I’m going to do something about it, and get back into the shape I want!  Beside if you really are bigger than you want (and it isn’t just you being critical of yourself which is far more likely) there really isn’t any instant cure, so the only option you have is to decide to do something! Be kind to yourself!

Navigating through the muck: Trying to interpret the Affordable Care Act AKA ObamaCare Part 1

Navigating through the muck: Trying to interpret the Affordable Care Act AKA ObamaCare Part 1

By Michol Mae

October 21, 2013

I have been considering writing an article on the Affordable Care Act, AKA Obamacare, for some time now but I have simply not had the time to wade through the befuddling resources available.  However, since it is such a major topic with impacts on the large majority, let us begin on the healthcare.gov site (https://www.healthcare.gov/where-can-i-read-the-affordable-care-act/).  This particular page states “The law has 2 parts: the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act and the Health Care and Education Reconciliation Act. We provide links to them in PDF and HTML formats below. We also provide a link to an unofficial, consolidated version that is more readable.”  Already I am confused, but I note the 4 items mentioned: Patient Protection, Affordable Care Act, Health Care, and Education Reconciliation Act.  Okay, the Affordable Care act has a certified full-text version at 2.41MB and the Reconciliation Act is a mere 257KB.  I’m tempted to start with the Reconciliation Act because it’s not only smaller, but I have not seen or heard nearly as much on it, but the lengthy nature of the Affordable Care Act means I will have to break it down, and write an article at a time, in sections.

Oh, here is a clarification! “This Act may be cited as the “Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act”. Terrific! Moving on, you can tell a lot about a book from the Table of Contents and it is no different in this case, 130 page table of contents! Ouch!  

There are parts of parts, subparts of parts, subtitles, I have to say I have my work cut out for me, and as a writer and a librarian I don’t mind a good read and analyze, but I am concerned that the majority of the citizens affected by this would not be so keen on reading it, not to mention at 906 pages an entire college course could be taught on it!

Let’s start at the beginning.  It appears that we start with amendments to the Public Health Service Act in regards to Individual and Group Market reforms for Improving coverage.  The topics that appear here are no lifetime or annual limits, prohibition on rescissions, coverage of preventive health services, extension of dependent coverage, development and utilization of uniform explanation of coverage documents and standardized definitions, prohibition of discrimination based on salary, ensuring the quality of care, bringing down the cost of health care coverage, appeals process  For the sake of keeping the articles short we will cover only a few items in each article, it is my hope this will make it easier to digest and research.

We will start with improving coverage, this says that those offering health insurance coverage cannot establish “Lifetime limits on the dollar value of benefits for any participant or beneficiary or unreasonable annual limits on the dollar value of benefits for any participant or beneficiary” However, if a group health plan or health insurance coverage does not provide essential health benefits they can place annual and lifetime limits per beneficiary on those specific covered benefits. (Page 131 of Public Law 111-148)  One question here, who decides what essential health care is?  Okay, two questions, how is essential health care defined?  Perhaps this is answered in the remaining 775 pages.

The prohibition on rescission tells us that those offering group or individual coverage cannot take back the plan or coverage once you are enrolled unless of course you are fraudulent or intentionally misrepresent yourself, “such plan or coverage may not be cancelled without prior notice to the enrollee.” Be sure to read the terms of the plan and coverage to be safe!

Coverage of preventive health services is a bit more meaty.  It looks like those providing group or individual health insurance coverage  will have to at least provide coverage for ‘‘(1) evidence-based items or services that have in effect a rating of ‘A’ or ‘B’ in the current recommendations of the United States Preventive Services Task Force;”  What does that mean, what is A or B, evidence based items?  Wait, I found a resource (http://www.uspreventiveservicestaskforce.org/uspstf/uspsabrecs.htm).  So it looks like it’s mandatory to include coverage of the following;

• ·         Abdominal aortic aneurysm screening: men
• ·         Alcohol misuses: screening and counseling
• ·         Anemic screening: pregnant women
• ·         Aspirin to prevent cardiovascular disease: men & women
• ·         Bacteriuri screening: pregnant women
• ·         Blood pressure screening in adults
• ·         BRCA screening, counseling about
• ·         Breast cancer preventative medication and screening
• ·         Cervical cancer screening
• ·         Chlamydial infection screening” woman 24 years and younger
• ·         Cholesterol abnormalities  screening men and women ages vary
• ·         Colorectal cancer screening
• ·         Dental caries prevention: preschool children
• ·         Depression screening: all ages
• ·         Diabetes screening
• ·         Falls prevention in older adults: exercise or physical therapy
• ·         Falls prevention in older adults: vitamin D
• ·         Folic acid supplementation
• ·         Gonorrhea prophylactic medication: newborns
• ·         Gonorrhea screening: women
• ·         Healthy diet counseling
• ·         Earing loss screening: newborns
• ·         Hemoglobinopathies screening: newborns
• ·         Hepatitis B screening: pregnant women
• ·         Hepatitis C virus infection screening: adults
• ·         HIV screening: non-pregnant all
• ·         Hypothyroidism screening: newborns
• ·         Intimate partner violence screening: women of childbearing age
• ·         Iron supplementation in children
• ·         Obesity screening and counseling: all
• ·         Osteoporosis screening: women
• ·         Phenylketonuria screening: newborns
• ·         Rh incompatibility screening: first pregnancy visit: fist visit and 24-28 weeks gestation
• ·         Sexually transmitted infections counseling
• ·         Skin cancer behavioral counseling
• ·         Tobacco use Counseling and interventions: all
• ·         Syphilis screening: all
• ·         Visual acuity screening in children

It also looks like immunizations such as Anthrax, BCG, DTaP, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, hib, Hib and DTP, HPV, Influenza, Japanese encephalitis, measles, Mumps and Rubella, MMRV, Meningococcal, Pneumococcal, Polio, Rabies, Rotavirus, Smallpox, Tdap/Td, Typhoid, Varicella(Chickenpox), Yellow Fever, Zoster(Shingles) (http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/hcp/acip-recs/vacc-specific/index.html) must be covered.  Women are covered for additional preventive care and screening mentioned in the list above.  Breast cancer screening, mammography, and prevention is mandatory based on the most current recommendations of the United States Preventative Service task Force.  Anything not mentioned above is not required and there are not limitations for insurance issuers on these additions services.  There is a mention that the Secretary can develop guidelines to permit those that offer health insurance a plan to utilize value based insurance designs, but in this I am not clear on what that means.

The extension of dependent coverage states that those providing health insurance to dependent children will continue to make coverage available for an adult child who is not married until the child turns 26 years of age.  Regulations to not appear to be set at this time, instead it states that the secretary will make known regulation to define the dependents that the coverage should be made available, and the definition of the dependent in the IRS will remain as it was for tax treatment purposes.

 Well folks we made it to page 132 of Public Law 111-148 and I think that is quite enough to digest at the moment.  Check back each week for more, or subscribe to my RSS feed.

Finding Integrity and Accountability in America

I am a writer, I try to write an article every week and aim to increase that to 2 or 3.  I look for like minded individuals or those who are more open minded and free thinking.  While discussing some of my views one day someone said to me that I probably never take sides one way or the other, there are two sides to this (no pun intended).  One I am a writer, a free writer, I try to look at all angles as unbiased as possible, I try to present from a neutral stand point; something modern media seems to have forgotten, and I aim to educate, or at the very least challenge people to think on things from different perspectives.  That said there are some topics that I have leaned to one side or the other.  In regards to all these topics I have come to realize that there is one underlying thing, one underlying issue, one underlying attribute, one underlying source to all of things that I write about. 

Let’s explore some of these things shall we.

You may have read my article about Guns and Gun Control where I leaned, I argued for upstanding citizens to retain their constitutional right to bear arms.  I argued that Amendments to this Constitutional law would unarm law abiding American citizens while leaving the criminals armed.  I challenged the naiveté of those that believe the criminal element will turn in their weapons.  I leaned, and I leaned toward retaining my right to bear arms, your right to bear arms, and chastised society for not standing up and with a little more integrity, with a little more grit.

I wrote an article about a video I saw regarding an officer who shot a injured girls father where I leaned toward the side of the officer, after reviewing several sources I used my own mind, crazy as it might seem, to conclude that as tragic as the incident was it was not the fault of the officer, it was not even the fault of the 4 year old who ran into the street, no, I concluded it was the parents and society to blame.  It was the lack of parenting and society’s acceptance off this decline, indeed society’s facilitation of this decline that was to blame.  It was the lack of integrity, and the lack of values, the decline of accountability, and the fall of values that once built greatness and now only serve to facility laziness.

In my article Finding America I state  I talked about the Boston Marathon shooting and other incidents and I leaned when I stated “It’s corporal punishment for America, where the general population will now suffer for the actions of a few.  Where the government cajoles and manipulates people into thinking that striping away more liberties is the only way to create more safety.  America, where we are sinking lower in our education and blindly following media and political agendas.  Where we no longer stop to think for ourselves, and have forgotten how to dig down and fight for what we once believed in! “ This wasn’t the only time I leaned against the media accusing them of having political agenda’s and no longer offering us the die hard search for the truth they once did.

One of my favorite and first articles The Decline of Personal and Societal Accountability I accuse the American people of sitting idly at best and facilitating the decline of accountability at worse.  

.  Then of course are the articles I have written about our school system, student loans, and the difficulties children and adults alike face when they decide to take their education seriously, the cost in all facets is staggering.

Have you noticed a theme yet?  Well for one thing every issue could use more integrity, for those who may have forgotten Merriem Webster’s Dictionary defines it as :firm adherenceto a code of especially moral or artistic values:incorruptibility  or:  an unimpaired condition:soundness  or 3.: the quality or state of being com.  The other is the decline of Accountability.  But overall, I feel frustrated because people miss the main point of it all.  Being a good person.  IT really all comes down to being a good person.  Most people have become numb, they have lived this lie too long, they don’t see the benefit in stopping the car for a squirrel, it’s not about the squirrel, it’s about your character.  They don’t stop to protect a person in danger, they walk on, not wanting to get involved even if it is so obviously wrong to them.  They want to pass the buck, blame others and let accountability and integrity die.

I hope that after reading this at lease of few of you will agree that something must be done about the decline of accountability and integrity, I hope even more will take a good look at their integrity and accountability and even more will act on it.  America we are in trouble, we have compromised one compromise after another and now I am afraid we do not know who we are or who we once were.  Let’s find ourselves, our integrity and our accountability. 

Education in America: The Cost

Whole day, half day, whole day, half day, half day, that is October’s schedule for grade school students in New York.  More and more parents and children are being challenged.  Children in grade school are now subject to math we were subjected to in High School, leading to an increase in pressure on children at a very young age.  To make it even harder the schools employ even more half days then most of us saw when we were in grade school, and the reason I’ve been given is that they still get funding if they have school for half a day.  Half of the half day’s that I see are for staff development and the other half are for parent teach conferences, so instead of having them after school hours when most parents can make it without taking time off work, they have it during school hours taking study time away from the children and money away from their household.

At the same time we wonder why more and more children are troubled, why more and more children have issues and why more and more are becoming increasingly violent.  Now holding with the decline of accountability I say it is that they are not held accountable no one is teaching them integrity no one is teaching them core values, they are floundering, left to their own to find their way without anyone looking out for them because their parents are too busy working trying to put food on the table, clothes on their backs, and shoes on their feet to say nothing of shelter and electricity, all of which cost more every year.  No it is not the guns, or the bombs, or the misguided children it is society that is to blame for the increase in violence.  It is society that accepts it and lets the fear run through it.  It is society that cowers in fear and no longer stands proud with courage, how far the mighty Americans have fallen.

I was talking with someone one day about these issues and he said that more households work and slave away because they want two cars, and while I am sure many think having a car a privilege  to many families they would not be able to go to work if they did not have a care and if they are lucky enough to have a two parent home where both parents work it is likely they need both cars.  This person did however make a valid point, more and more Americans are greedy, they want the newest electronics, the newest gadgets, even my 8 year old girl has been asking for a phone and an iPad.  We don’t need these things and we can certainly live without them and many families have to live without them.  Should they?  I know for certain my 8 year old does not need them, but some newer gadgets like e-readers could be beneficial and anything used for learning should be considered less and luxury and more a necessity.  All of that aside, the fact remains there are more and more single family house holds that don’t have the option of a second income, and many are living in the lower to lower middle class income bracket, congratulations on top of being a single parent, you must now deal with low income, and increased child care because once a week your child will be out of school.

I am under the impression the reason we have accelerated our math and English programs is to keep up with the rest of the world, America, it seems, has gotten dumber.  More and more countries are passing us by while we flounder around.  Those of us who do want to get an education do so at a great risk, and at great debt.  If the government is truly concerned perhaps they should make college more affordable, in fact shouldn’t they make if free, if nothing else then by way of a tax credit for all that you have paid.  Instead we earn tens sometimes hundreds of thousands to become educated, to show the world there are some of us left in America that care to learn indeed even love to learn.  In fact so willing are we to learn that we have accumulated this massive mound of debt that makes it hard to breathe when we consider the difficulty with which we are meet in the job market, when we consider how little we make in comparison to how much we owe, and how much these other companies and indeed even the government make off our plight.  Education should not cost use nearly as much monetarily but more importantly it should not cost us our health which surly pays the price from the stress if not from the long hours working to pay off a debt that seems insurmountable.

In the end it looks as though our system for educating America is broken, our society is broken, our integrity is hanging by a thread if not already lost or severed and our family values have declined so far that I am afraid they will vanish completely.  

About the Officer Who Killed an Injured Girl's Father

Based on limited information of opposing articles I would like to take a moment to offer my thoughts on this issue that is making it's round through Facebook.  

Sun-Times Metro News

Oh where do I start.  This is a tragedy, and sadly one that could have been avoided in several stages.  As a parent I understand the fury that must have been present but I know in my case concern for my child would have come first and getting her to a hospital would have been my priority.  The original link that I came across (FreePatriot) it sounds like he deliberately ran her over, when the reporter states she ran in front of him.  Further the Sun-Times reports that "a girl suddenly dart(ed) into the street" As a biker I understand that when a child runs in front of you all you can do is dump the bike, so he willingly dumped his bike and subjected himself to hitting the pavement and sustain injuries to try and avoid a child who ran in front of him. 

Onto the next issue of why she was running into the road, she wasn't holding the 18 year old's hand whom she was with, she didn't look both ways.  As a parent I have my kids hold my hands and when I cannot I stand in the road while they cross to be sure they are safe.  I asked my 8 & 9 year old who was to blame for this crash and they both said the little girl is to blame.  They are not entirely correct, while I applaud my children for knowing that they should not run out into the road, it was not the little girls fault.  It was the parents who never taught her that she needed to hold a hand, it was the cousin who didn't hold her hand, she is a 4 year old, someone should have taught her.  

No according to the FreePatriot article, it would seem that the officer shot the father for no reason, when according to the Sun-Times Metro News "Middleton (the father) struck the officer in the face, knocked him to the ground and continued to hit him, according to Shapiro. Passley (the cousin) allegedly joined in and kicked the officer, Shapiro said. The officer then drew his gun and shot Middleton once. “He was about to lose consciousness to people beating him,” said Camden, defending the actions of the officer, who works in a West Side police district. “He fired in defense of his life.” So the officer shot in self-defense, he was on the ground, being beat, and losing consciousness, after ditching his bike and hitting the pavement in an effort to avoid a 4 year old girl who didn't know any better than to run across the road.  According to the Sun-Times Metro News the officer is expected to recover from his injuries but was left with contusions to his head and body from the attack and a possible broken leg and broken shoulder from the crash, Camden said."  The little girl "suffered contusions and abrasions and was hospitalized overnight for observation."  

So let me break this down for you if I can;

1. If the little girl had been taught not to run into the street it could have been avoided, but she is a child so let’s say she forgot as children sometimes do.
2. The person she was walking with could have grabbed her, when that didn't happen the rider dropped his bike and although she was hurt she was alive (a point I feel to be important since had he not she would have substantially less chance at survival). 
3. At that stage the father could have focused on his injured daughter instead of the biker.  He could have focused his fear and concern to calling the police and an ambulance and attending to his little girl. 
4. As a parent his rage and concern of his child could have made him temporarily insane and so he attacked the officer.  At this point a couple other things could have happened. 
1. The cousin could have tried to keep the piece instead of jumping in.
2. The rest of the onlookers could have tried to keep the men apart.

However, neither of those things happened.  and so the officer had two choices he could have let them beat him unconscious and beyond or he could have defended himself.  Now in defending himself he could have wounded the man, however, with the loss of control over the situation and two people beating on him while he was on the ground and losing consciousness it is possible that his training kicked in and he reacted.  I suspect if he had wounded him to stop him there would have been publicity and a law suit either way, because it couldn't possibly be the fault of anyone else (sarcasm), it couldn't possibly have been an accident, which is defined by Merriam Webster as : a sudden event (such as a crash) that is not planned or intended and that causes damage or injury or : an event that is not planned or intended : an event that occurs by chance.  What I do know is this is not the fault of the officer, or the 4 year old girl.  It is the fault of the parents not teaching their child to run in the street, the cousin for not being a responsible adult and the father for not controlling his temper and putting personal vengeance over the welfare of his daughter and that is to say nothing of his automatic assignment of blame to the man who laid down his bike in an attempt not to harm his daughter and willingly putting himself in danger.  

On Guns & Gun Control

Let’s talk about guns.  This controversial topic always gets people riled up, and by nature any stance I take will be argued by the proverbial “other side”.  That being said I have quite a few issue to address.  The very first and most crucial is the claim that banning guns from law abiding citizens is somehow going to make the world a safer place, it seems the people that claim this take it on faith that the criminal element will be turning theirs in.  Now, you don’t have to be all that educated to see the problem with this logic.  By banning guns from the law abiding citizens of the United States of America you are unarming them and not the criminals, just in case you miss the point,  the criminals will be armed and society will not.  What could possibly go wrong?  Everyone seems to have heard the phrase “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people” I would like to reiterate this.  A gun by itself is not the danger, in fact, it can’t do anything by itself, the person holding it can. 

Now there are many people who will argue that there needs to be more background checks, more security, more regulation, more rules.  No doubt these are the same types of people that likely don’t care about the constant infringement on their right to privacy, they don’t care if they are monitored in everything they do.  Or perhaps they do care, but because it wouldn’t personally affect them I this particular issue they are willing to overlook it.  Here is my opportunity to reiterate one of my favorite quotes, “They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety”- Ben Franklin.   

Now some of you are cheering in your seats, some are scratching their heads, and others are at this moment thinking up what they would consider to be clever retorts.  However, there is much more to this issue. 

I will try not to go on a tangent about the bias of the media here, but can someone explain how every single tragedy involving a gun, legally obtained or not, ends up in the news yet the self-defense stories and others that would take away this vilified image are not?  My guess, what many fail to realize is that the media is politically motivated and right now your Politian’s want to disarm you. They want to disarm you of your weapons and in some ways I think think they want to disarm you of free-thinking. 

Now again some will agree and others will be thinking of arguments, one of which is likely the hot topic in the news now about the shooting in Washington D.C.  According to the Washington post, “Alexis was armed with an assault rifle and a handgun, two law enforcement officials said. One said he also had a shotgun. One official said all the weapons have not been accounted for.  According to ABC News "What the 1986 Firearms Owners' Protection Act did was it made it more convenient for gun buyers," said Kristen Rand, the legislative director at the Violence Policy Center. "That's the road we've been on for a while: The convenience of gun owner always seems to trump the right of victims not to be shot." Some of you are nodding your head right now in agreement, but I cannot agree with this statement. The problem is not, upholding the American peoples right to bear arms, no, the problem is with society.  You might be confused right now if you agreed with Kristen but many of a similar mindset to mine already know where I am going with this.  Accountability. 

The problem is not with the guns, the problem is we live in a society where people are not held accountable, the consequences of any potential actions are not real. There is no fear to act improperly because we have set the precedent that someone or something else is to blame.  If a man shot and killed someone I loved (which has happened) I would not want to overhaul gun laws, I would want that man brought to justice.  I would want that person to pay.  Moreover, I have experienced crime, my own loved ones have been attacked viciously, one was stabbed repeatedly, I didn’t demand something be done about knifes, I wanted those two men brought to justice.  So no I do not agree with Kristen Rand in fact I think in many cases of mass shootings, if others were armed casualties would be minimized. 

Now, some are working on a witty reply and others are happy that someone finally said what they were thinking.  Let me continue on to the concern of terrorism.  I really only have one thing to say.  If you start to live in fear, you have effectively let the terrorist win. Our world is changing and it has become increasingly violent, partially because of decline of accountability and integrity. 

I’m not unwilling to concede to some exceptions, but I do not agree with a ban.  Instead I would require the same process that we have for handguns for these so called “assault rifles.” I reiterate that law abiding citizens have the constitutional right to bear arms and the majority of gun owners is not in danger of committing mass murder.  In fact there have been cases of mass murder not involving guns, some were religious groups that used poison.  We don’t base all religious groups on these few, so why hold all gun owners to the few that have committed crimes, in fact I believe many crimes committed were not from legal gun owners.

I could write much more on this topic and no doubt there are quite a few of you looking to reply, but I will wrap this up.  The bottom line is we should not disarm law abiding citizens of America because there are bad people in the world.  The fact of the matter is there will always be bad people, in fact there will be criminals, and criminals and crazy people are going to get their hands on guns or home-made bombs if that is what they want.  If more law abiding citizens were armed there is a better chance they could prevent the bad people from having too many casualties.  Let me be clear, I am not talking about being a vigilantly, let the police do their job, but in certain situations if no police are present and you are in eminent danger you have the right to act. It is time we hold society and individual accountable for their own actions, it is time to stop blaming the guns, the poor childhood, or the myriad of psychological disorders. It is time to be accountable.

Increasing Your Sense of Self-Worth

I have told several people, on several occasions, I write and I sing, but who am I that anyone will care. For the most part people seem to agree, they would nod there head or say good for you to pursue your dreams, until one day I was talking with a friend of mine. I sat at my kitchen table talking with my friend, she is a relatively new friend but our friendship might as well started lifetimes ago. I said to her “Well, I write articles and blogs, and write my own music as a hobby, I love what I do but, why would people care about me, I’m a nobody: and I laughed at the absurd notion that people would seek me out specifically to read what I write. My friend did not laugh, instead her brow furrowed and she looked and gave me a reply that I would never have expected, due to the personal nature of the reply I will not write it word for word, but I will say she looked me in the eye and told me I was somebody, not a nobody. She pointed out all that I have done and been through and the value that I have to offer in the world in such a way she convinced me in that moment I was of value. I was SOMEONE! I felt pretty good about that, but I didn't act on it right away, I let it sit with me, roll around in my head a bit and from this one conversation came today’s topic self-worth.

How many people tell you that you are worth something? How many people make you feel like you are worthless? Unfortunately the odds may be stacked against you (Unless of course you are one of the lucky ones that compliments always came easy too, in which case hat’s off to you ). In today’s society it seems we have put a premium on being negative and are more likely to seek out the flaws of a person than to say something nice. To make matters worse I have heard an increasing number of people say “If S/He doesn’t say anything than that means I am doing good.” This kind of workplace practice spills over into relationships and if we are not careful before we know it the whole world will start adopting this negative based mentality, where it is acceptable to reprimand but never compliment. This can take a heavy toll on your self-esteem if you are not prepared.

It can be very challenging to change your mindset, but I challenge you to do just that, I challenge you to say “NO! I will not sit idly by while our society takes a further nose dive” and I encourage you to take back your personal power. Let me be one of the people to tell you that YOU are SOMEBODY! You have something to offer, I know that you do, and somewhere inside you know you do. Now you may be reading this thinking “Who is she to tell me I am someone!” yes, I get that response, and I don’t take it personally. Who am I, I am a mother, and aunt, a sister, a friend, a musician, a writer, an I.T. professional, a Librarian and so much more. Back in college I was asked to write a paper called I Am, and I wrote I Am Me! I filled that paper with who I was but the fact reminds that I am simply me, and I will change like the ebb and flow of the tide because that is the nature of life. Now, that we have that settled, who are you? You read this far so you must be somewhat interested in reclaiming your self-worth, perhaps you are even waiting patiently or otherwise for me to get to the part where I tell you how.

That being said let me give you a list of steps;

1) Challenge yourself to believe that you are worth something to the world, (clicktotweet) at some point in life someone may have told you or lead you to believe you were worthless, you do not have to agree with them, do not let them carry this influence over them. They have their opinion, let them have it, but know that you are worth something.

2) You are always worth something to someone (clicktotweet), in fact you are worth something to me, the fact that you are reading what I write makes me grateful to you, and the fact that you are willing to improve yourself and challenge negativity makes you valuable to the whole world.

3) Write a list of what you do well, everyone has things that they do well, if you struggle with this use social media to ask your friends and family what they think you do well. If you don’t want to do that then list what you love to do, and if you love to do it, you can learn to do it well.

4) Write a list of all the negative statements that anyone ever said to you, anything that diminished your self-worth, anything that stopped you from doing what you love, or just impacted you negatively. Then look at each of them ask yourself if you think it is true, then tell yourself it is not true, you do not accept it, and burn it, or crumple it and throw it away. When you are getting rid of this paper focus on it, you are releasing it.

5) Don’t take anything personally the fact is everyone acts out based on their own situation, some people could be telling you these negative things because they are jealous, because they are insecure, or because someone else told them the same thing, it’s not that they intentionally want to hurt you, they might not know better, but understand they do what they do because of themselves, not because of you. I had a woman completely dismiss me once, she shooed me away like I was of no value at all, and I was hurt, I was angry but I used some of the steps I am giving you and I was able to regain my composure, the next time I worked with her she was very polite and friendly, maybe she had a bad day, maybe she didn't get the angry response she expected, either way I knew it wasn't personal, and so I was able to finish my day and formulate a good relationship, where if I had reacted out of my own anger from my own feelings of insecurity I may have made an enemy. So don’t take it personal!

6) Express yourself. How many times do you hold things in? How often are you afraid of saying something? Chances are if you read this far, it’s pretty often, maybe you don’t like confrontation, maybe you want everyone to like you, whatever the reason, holding in anything is not healthy, what’s more holding it in can lead to misinterpretation. So take the time to formulate a response or comment, be kind but firm and assertive. I have a family member who will get mad and you know it because of her body language but you might have no idea why!? It’s maddening! I often thing isn't it better to just say it instead of getting all twisted inside, but then I wouldn't say anything for fear of getting her further upset and I got all twisted inside! Finally, I came to these steps and I used them, even with her, I was able to be honest, speak with integrity and prevent these twisted moments. If I suspected she was upset about something or that she was going to be upset I would say something like “I was afraid to wake you if I called so late, or I was afraid you would be aggravated if I came over at that time” You know our relationship is so much less twisted and she probably has no idea why! Don’t get me wrong it was not easy to do at first but after the first few times you realize you gain benefits from it. You are worth it! Express yourself! Your feelings are valid! (clicktotweet)

7) Give yourself a break! Realize that you are human, you will make mistakes, you will say the wrong thing, it’s okay, it doesn't matter how many mistakes you make you are still SOMEONE! In fact some of the greatest inventors of our time make hundreds and thousands of mistakes before discovering something that changed the world!( clicktotweet) Remember that, you can change the world!

Finally, although I could write much more on this topic, (in-fact perhaps I should write an e-book) remember that you cause a ripple effect in all that you do. A stone thrown into a pond ripples out with thousands of ripples, some large & some small but that stone started it all. You are that stone( clicktotweet), let your ripple effect be a positive one. If this helps you, I want to know! Leave a comment! If you have any helpful suggestions leave a comment!

Are Our Elementary Schools A Joke?

I found myself with two children one day, one in second grade and one in third grade, I was aware that they came from a difficult school district, and that the one in third grade had struggled through second grade and need help.  I did not know the extent of the help.  So we get everyone enrolled in school and my second grader, she does great, most of her grades are 3 & 4 (don’t even get me started on this number thing), but my third grader was behind form the start.  The school notified me of his difficulty, so I put him in an after school math program, his teacher, counselors and myself were involved.  We worked with him or so I am told through the school year trying to help him get up to speed while introducing course work, by the end of the year these New York State tests determined him to be at a second grade level. 

The school was going to push him right up to 4^th grade when I asked about summer school.  So here we are enrolled in summer school his last resort before I request he be held back.  Now let’s discuss summer school, it’s 3 hours, yes just 3 hours and so far he hasn’t learned a thing, they are on multiplication and division and he is still struggling with adding and subtracting.  So he comes home and I teach him, which begs the question why I send him to school if I am the one that has to teach him anyway. 

So he goes to school for three hours, which means we get up get ready and hope the bus isn’t early as it was today, and we don’t have to make a mad dash to the school.  There is a schedule, but apparently it is okay to ignore the schedule if you are early, if you are early and no one is there just keep going right?  That is what the bus does, so we as parents go out ten-twenty  minutes early for pick up and drop off because half the time we have no idea what to expect, way to set an example!  At least our kids are learning how to be early for an appointment. 

I digress, back to the school, so he goes to the school and they make tie-dyed T-shirts and do whatever else the first week, come the second week I still see no homework sent home.  He says he hasn’t really learned much since starting, and although it is only week two shouldn’t he have ironed out some of his deficiencies?  So here I am teaching my boy how to add and subtract (and he is in 3^rd grade!) because I have lost all faith that the school is teaching him anything.  I ordered the text books, I took time from my schedule, and I sat down and gave him assignments and assessed his learning myself.  Why am I sending him to school again?  So he can socialize, okay that is important, but what is he learning about socializing? He is learning what his peers teach, he is learning the good that bad and the in between, so I teach him tolerance and I teach him how to defend himself, and how to think for himself, but the school does not teach him that I do.  So I am teaching him social skills and I have to teach him core content, then why am I sending my kid to a school?  Why not home school him?  Well because I am a single parent household and society puts little value on family anymore.  Our society has advanced in some ways and degraded in others.  It would be great to homeschool my kids, but sadly society has made it difficult to survive on a dual income let alone a single income, and as a single parent I have to work harder to provide for my family.  It is getting hard not to turn this into a societal blog, but I will refrain.  

Some children don't want to do the work, if they don't and you push them through you are teaching them they don't have to work to progress, that is not a message I would choose to send.  Some children have "disorders" (putting my personal feelings aside) if this is truly the case they need special assistance and a solid foundation not to be left behind. The bottom line is our education system with its ”no kid left behind” policy is a joke, it’s a wonderful concept to leave no child behind, but if you are just pushing a child through when they haven’t the proper foundation, you are failing them in an even bigger way.  What happens to a house without the proper foundation?  It crumbles.

The Zimmerman Trayvon Debacle

What a world we live in.  I am not even sure where to start, as this is a blog I feel I can just dive right in, but let me start with a few side notes and disclaimers.   First I am not a lawyer, I was not in the court room, and all information I have obtained (like most others) has been third party.  I don’t necessarily trust the opinions and information gained through our politicians or media.  I’m frustrated at the ignorance, lack of compassion and intolerance that our society seems to find acceptable.

The only people that know what happened that night are George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin, since only one of them remains with us we have one side of the story. One perspective.  Regardless of how objective George Zimmerman may be, his story will always be incomplete.  He cannot know, as we cannot know what Trayvon Martin was thinking, how he felt, why he reacted the way he did, or if his perception of George Zimmerman was that of a serious threat.   We only have one side of the story and we are left to determine the truth, with the poison of hatred and politics polluting the water.

That being said, let’s go back to the beginning.  Trayvon Martin was walking in a neighborhood, George Zimmerman was acting as neighborhood watch.  George saw an unfamiliar person walking through a neighborhood.  It has been said there were a rash of break in’s in this neighborhood, is this relevant or not, we will discuss.  Here is where it goes sideways, George (possibly more suspicious of any outsider due to increased break in’s) was alarmed at person he did not recognize.  This person was wearing a hoody, it’s possible he didn’t see the person or the race of the person in the hoody, it is possible that no one in the neighborhood goes out walking with a hoody on.  There are a ton of possibilities.  A large possibility is that George approached this man/boy in the belief he could talk to this person, it is a large possibility that he had no expectations of a fight at all.  That is one side of the story to this point.  What is largely known (and again 3^rd and 4^th party removed) is that George Zimmerman  (ignoring the suggestion not to approach the stranger) got out of his car and approached Trayvon Martin.  It is unclear to me how approaching this person escalated into a fight, and it is irrelevant in a way, let me tell you why.  It did escalate, out of control to the point that Trayvon was beating George, repeatedly slamming his head into the concrete.  There is no good reason for this extreme, indeed it need not even come to blows, but the fact that it did come to such extreme blows, meant that George was afraid for his life and he reacted by shooting, whom he thought was a man, that was beating is head in.  Why did it come to blows, what circumstances would be acceptable for it to come to blows?  There really are not any, no matter what someone says to you, there is always the choice to walk away, and like I tell my kids, people can say anything they like, and you may not like it, and you may not feel it is true, but words are no reason to strike someone.

George Zimmerman made bad decisions, he had poor judgment, it is possible he thought he was doing something good, it is possible he thought he could handle things peacefully, but he did not.  Trayvon may or may not have made equally bad decisions, it is difficult for me to say because he is not here to be heard, but if in fact, he did repeatedly slam George’s head in the ground that was a bad decision.  What upsets me, and what I don’t understand is why this came to such desperate acts, why couldn’t George Zimmerman ask this person where they were going, who they were staying with, and not out of a place of suspicion but out of a place of compassion.  Why couldn’t George ask Trayvon if he needed a lift to where he was staying.  Why couldn’t Trayovn have pointed out that he was visiting and ask for a lift, or perhaps he enjoyed his walk and he could express that.  Instead we are teaching people and cultivating a society of fear and out of this fear people react unpredictably and with anger and rage. 

Let’s get to the verdict and the aftermath.  The jury made their decision they were not all convinced without reasonable doubt of George Zimmerman’s guilt, the legal processes were followed, the verdict was found.  Many a person has disagreed with court decisions that were not in their favor but the process was followed, a process put in place to protect the innocent.  I’ve read a great deal of the aftermath of this verdict and I am appalled.  Many are protesting and protests have turned violent, death threats have been issued not only against George Zimmerman but also against random white people, or Hispanics.  Is this the way?  Do people really believe this is how we should behave?  Someone mentioned on a Facebook post that the law was followed and people did not march on the streets when O.J. Simpson was acquitted, and I find this an interesting point if it were to be a racial issue we would have a comparison, but this is not really a racial issue, and if it was I would insist that the media get the race right, he is Hispanic, not just white, but race should not matter.  Am I naive to think that we should be evolved enough not to judge someone by color, not to assume that every issue between different races is a racial issue? But I am not interested in making this about race, I am more interested in making a point about compassion and the lack of compassion in society.  I am more interested in making a point about people resorting to violence before finding a peaceable solution. 

It is normal for the family of Trayvon to feel as they do, they suffered a great loss, and they will have a great many emotions, but for others to take to the street in Trayvon's name, commit acts of violence, burn flags, and make threats there is no good reason for that. The law was followed, the verdict was reached, it was not a mistrial. George Zimmerman acted in self defense according to the law.    

I am afraid that society is degrading, we live in a world where we are allowing our freedoms to be taken from us, we are poisoned by our media and politicians who tell us what they want us to hear, and we are in denial about a great many things.  Worst of all we will fight each other more readily than we will show compassion.  We challenge the court system when it suits us, we use it to our advantage when it suits us, we burn our own flag, do we have any values left.  Is there integrity left in America?  Are we doomed to hate? Why is hate the first emotion? Why can people not find more compassion in their heart? 

Post Graduate Depression

So you went to school, for what may seem like forever, you paid your dues, you worked hard, and you graduated with a Graduate degree, you should be on top of the world right?  So why do you have a nagging sense of depression?  Is there something wrong with you?  Shouldn’t this be one of the happiest days of your life?  If you are feeling this depression, there is nothing wrong with you, in fact, it is very normal, and depending on the economic times, it can be even more prevalent.

An article in The New York Times offers some explanations and advice, stating that a lot of anxiety comes from being educated and jobless, it also mentions that as of 2009 we are in one of the worst job markets since the Great Depression.  Even if you put yourself through college, and don’t have the extra guilt of costing your parents for school, the mounting debt of your education can also take its toll.  Even with a decent job the pressure is there to find a career that utilizes and even better yet pays you for your degree.

    

The Huffington Posts writes how recent grads are going from frustration to clinical depression, and while they seem to focus on college students living from home who have problems reverting to life with mom and dad, the loss of freedom they experienced in a dorm, and handling increased expectations, they do acknowledge the reduced job prospects  and increasing college debt that would affect all graduates.

 

It makes sense for a graduate who lived at home with mom and dad, went to a dorm, and had a completely different life to have some anxiety about a complete life change but what about college graduates that have been out on their own, paying their way without the help of mom and dad, and working their way through school.  They don’t have the sudden acclimation to deal with but they do have a mountain of debt, and decreased employment opportunities, and they are also finding career paths and future educations ambitions blocked by financial challenges or economic concerns. 

So keep an eye out for a recent graduate who seems depressed, negative, lethargic, or distracted, you could try offering an observation in a nonjudgmental  manner  and perhaps let them know it is not all that uncommon to feel the way they do, especially if they are unemployed or in a low paying job, have serious financial stress or both.  You could add the reminder that having an education puts them one step above those that do not and for those obtaining a graduate level degree they are now among a very small percent of the country with less than ten percent obtaining a graduate level degree. 

Another critical issue is goal setting, a graduate student has a clear goal, once that goal is achieved it is time to set a new goal, a healthy mix of attainable goals and challenging goals lends purpose to life and can help graduates feel like they have a purpose.  Don't forget to write your goals down, look at them, and revisit them, and most of all, don't be afraid to revise them as needed!   

According to igrad there are a few tips that can help graduates cope, Jot down three happy occurrences everyday, write your stress away, techniques for this can be found in the article “Write Your Stress Away: The Miraculous Question."  Look for the silver lining, force yourself to look for the positive coming out of a situation, it might not be easy but there is something good to be found, search until you find it.   Start Anywhere, detach yourself from the bigger picture so that you can focus on smaller tasks, take it “One Day at a Time.”   Don’t fight the feeling, acknowledge the feeling, think about why or the root of the feeling, then let it go, and set a goal to defeat the root.  

Reframe failure, a life changer, it states we are too attached to perfection, and often what we perceive as a failure is in our perception! One person could consider an accomplishment a failure because it was not achieved on a personally set level, yet another person would consider it a great achievement, we are often either too hard on ourselves or not hard enough, how do we find the balance.

 

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/18/advice-for-young-jobless-college-graduates/ 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-victor-schwartz/college-grads-clinical-depression_b_1679759.html

http://www.igrad.com/articles/battling-depression-after-college-with-cognitive-therapy

http://gradschool.about.com/cs/survival/a/gradblues.htm

Tired

Exhaustion is nothing new,

Keep moving, never stop,

Have to keep following through.

Pile on more, it has to be done,

In this swirling vortex I spin,

And suddenly I’m coming undone.

Slipping down this darkened slide,

I’m falling further into the darkness,

Someone stop this maddened ride.

If you like the author's in this blog check out the site www.writingliberty.com and feel free to check out the author's other books; -->

Down

Suddenly I can’t breathe,

pressure is applied to my chest,

and my will drains away from me.

I’m too tired to fight,

To battered and bloody to care,

I wait, as this feeling reaches its height.

Staggering back with pain,

I feel as if I could fall right now,

I welcome the rest, let me lay.

I’m so strong, until I’m not,

And right now I feel the ground move,

I sway, it takes one more heavy shot.

Get up off the mat, you’re a fighter

My vision’s blurred, my heart burned,

I’m down for the count, feeling lighter.

Like a feather, gently resting,

I feel as I lay bleeding,

Let me go, set me free.

Finding America

America, land of the free, home of the brave, or is it?  Certainly, we enjoy more freedoms than many other countries this may be true, it may even be said that we are founded on the concepts of freedom, so why would we allow them to be taken away from us?  Like many of the rare books in libraries our liberty is being eroded in a slow burn, so slow many acquiesce without realizing the full impact of their docile and increasingly dependent ways.  Where is the fighting spirit and independent nature we once had, how far have we fallen from what we once believed, under the belief that we are making things better?

The resistance to change is natural, so it should be no surprise that people still want to believe our media produces the truth, however, they have fallen prey to corporate and political motives, no longer the unbiased truth seeking hero’s and heroine’s they once were.  Instead they feed us lies and half-truths designed to facilitate the motives of their shareholders and political alignments.  Our hero’s have fallen and we have been left to seek out the truth ourselves, sifting through the world wide web, researching and utilizing our life experience to find as close to the truth as we can. Yet when we find our truths do we act?

Even if we could discern the truth of a matter, would we act?  There have been a great many high profile events recently such as, the Boston Marathon Bombing, the Sandyhook shootings, and the Movie theatre shooting that have been plastered and debated with great rigor.  Some using the misfortunes to wrestle more liberties away from law abiding citizens, others claiming conspiracy, and others who have no idea what to believe.  Recently, it seems some government officials are capitalizing on tragedy to further their own agenda, not shocking, but what is shocking is the general acquiescence of the American public. 

During the search for the second suspect involved in the Boston Marathon Bombing officials searched the homes of and vehicles of law abiding citizens.  Videos show families being marched out of their house with their hands on their heads as if they were criminals, several sources within a 5 mile radius have confirmed that some of these citizens felt they had no choice.  On one hand I suppose the bomber could have held a family hostage so searching property may have necessary, on the other hand as a law abiding citizen I would not under any circumstances appreciate being marched out of my house with my hands on my head like a criminal.  Likewise, with the sudden flare up in gun control debates following Sandyhook, is absurd.

 

It’s corporal punishment for America, where the general population will now suffer for the actions of a few.  Where the government cajoles and manipulates people into thinking that striping away more liberties is the only way to create more safety.  America, where we are sinking lower in our education and blindly following media and political agendas.  Where we no longer stop to think for ourselves, and have forgotten how to dig down and fight for what we once believed in! 

Is it really okay to detain a person and give them absolutely no rights?  Is that what we stand for?  Is it okay for the American people to be judge, jury, and executioner?  Regardless of the heinous act committed, shouldn’t due process be afforded.  No doubt, many of my readers are shaking their head in disbelief at my insistence that we treat even Dzhokhar Tsarnaev with fairness and equality.  Yet, isn’t that what we are supposed to be about?  I teach my children tolerance, I teach them love, and after Sandyhook I taught them preservation techniques to the best of my ability, but I did not teach them to judge, I did not teach them hate.  There is a legal system designed to uphold the law and punish criminals, there should not be a way to circumvent that system, to exile a person without due process, we are not a dictatorship yet! 

I do not understand why some of these people have done what they do, but I know some were mentally ill, others misguided, some filled with hate, some dissatisfied with our government and longing to start a revolution and make a change, whatever their motives, they should still be afforded due process.  Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was young and impressionable he was 19, I’ve not yet heard his story, nor do I have proof of his level of involvement but I do know that Unabomber Ted >Kaczynski had a much longer reign of terror and even he was allowed due process, and serves life in prison, and I do know it is not my place to judge.

Are people really so foolish that they believe taking weapons out of the hands of law abiding citizens is the answer, do they really believe that the drug dealers and the criminals, the terrorists and the crazies will give up their weapons and turn in their illegal weapons?  Think about it for a moment.  There is an entire town in Georgia that mandates every head of household own a gun and the crime rate dropped!  Criminals target easy prey, they don’t want to work that hard, if they know a town is armed they are less likely to go into that town with malicious intent. 

Is it really so hard for people to see that they can no longer trust the media, particularly since the media had repeatedly gotten their stories wrong and had to apologize! It is so easy to blame someone else, anyone else, and that is what America is becoming, America the unaccountable.  It is time to soul search America, it is time to look within yourself, find those faults and flaws and own them.  Stop pointing to other people and other countries and look to yourself, take a good long look and become accountable again, become liberating again, find that fighting spirit, the independent nature, that hard worker who will not fail because he has spirit.  Don’t sacrifice yourselves and your liberty for these false senses of security, secure yourself and your household, help your neighbors secure theirs if you must, be united, be the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 

If you like the author's in this blog check out the site www.writingliberty.com and feel free to check out the author's other books;

The Reoccurring Teenager

I beginning to think that we all have this reoccurring teenager within us.  I’m sitting here after a meditating on the phase, “Three things cannot be hidden, the sun the moon and the truth”( I’m also fond of “You only lose that which you cling to”) and I have been reflecting on how I feel.  I saw my youngest sister married today, I have been bombarded by emotional tidal waves and I have stayed steadily swimming towards the shore.  There were moments of course where I felt I might drown, where I might be pulled into the darkness of the deepest parts of the ocean, but somehow, I did not succumb to those powerful forces.

Finally, I emerged from this voyage, beaten and battered but still moving forward because I must.  Weddings are always emotional, add any family dynamic and it’s twice so, add in coming home again, and it’s thrice so, and so on.  So here you are at an event that inevitably most have to attend, and inevitably that most will feel the stirring of this teenager inside, and unless you stop for a moment to think on it, you might miss the little trouble maker.  

Now it is possible that as a teenager you were a peach, an untroubled child who was able to stay pretty put together and in those cases you have little to worry about, but in the other cases, the ones I have seen with friends and myself those years will tumultuous and traumatic and ripe with all sorts of chaotic and distressing feelings.  Anger, resentment, abandonment, and bitterness are just a few feelings that the teenager within harbors and guards, and if you are not careful that inner teenager will take over for unspecified periods of time, it is for this reason that you must be aware.

It’s actually quite natural, you feel like you are drowning into the darkness and the time in your life that you most felt that was as a teenager, and so you that teenager found an opening a way to emerge, and before you can realize it you want to let the waters take you, or you want to run away, or you are so angry you want to shut everyone out.  Can you remember as a teenager how many people in your life you were angry with, it’s exhausting, but so easy to fall prey to the reoccurring teenager who waits for the right moment to pop back up and say hello to the world.

I long for a beautiful day at the cemetery where I can visit my loved ones and sleep beside them because it brings me peace, and because I have always felt the dead understand me far more than the living can, but I have felt this way since I was a teenager.  This behavior while odd to some is not considered bad, so I let the teenager within have this one,  but be careful, teenagers are give an inch take a mile by their nature.  You could concede to something small and end up fueling the fire, and angry at everyone, angry at parents for abandoning you or neglecting you, angry at family for not being there, angry at everyone for not protecting you and angry at yourself for being any kind of victim, this is the danger of the reoccurring teenager, all these issues easily come to the surface, and you might say “well if they are there you didn’t really deal with them.”  Or “you just need to move on”  but the sad reality is, our teenage years are the years where we find ourselves. 

We are taught and learn what our parents have to offer by the age of 13 (probably younger now) and from that point forward we are trying to figure out who we are.  So this teenager ingrained in us, it is part of us, it is a footprint of what happened to help us find ourselves.  For some it is a light footprint, for others a deep footprint, for some it is a reminder of what to do, for others a reminder of what not to do.  We cannot simply “get over” our teenage self, we have to get to know our teenage self, we have to be aware of it, and most importantly we have to stop denying it is there.  We have to honestly look at ourselves and identify what is the reoccurring teenager and what is the adult, and there may be times where it is appropriate to be both, there may be times were you need to grab a hold of the stubborn, hurt, angry and confused teenager and be firm enough not to go that route. 

I was always creative, as a teenager I knew what I wanted, but the adults said oh no that can’t be, be realistic, that was the worse advice ever!  I say do what you love! That reoccurring teenager is much happier when you are true to yourself, after all, that is what being a teenager is all about, it is about learning who you are.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m successful in what I have done, but I find my life lacking, and I know it is because I got away from who I was and am, and the further away I was the more that teenager reoccurred, I wanted to run-away, hide, push everyone away, but I wanted that because I had lost myself and my reoccurring teenager knew that, and knew it was the job of the teenager to find oneself.  So be aware, when you lose control, or lose yourself and you feel that reoccurring teenager boiling up inside, you might have lost yourself and it might be time find yourself again. 

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